Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Judgment Day

Three and a half years ago while searching for stuff on End Times, I discovered Ronald Weinland's book GFW - 2008. At that time I was still infected with apocolomania - the residue left from 20 plus years as a Jehovah's Witness. Even though I had been out for 10 plus years, I was still infected. I had a strong reaction to Weinland's book. I began commenting on Mike's blog. He suggested a blog of my own.

It turned out to be a good thing. When you are raised in a religion, it is difficult to truly escape it. I needed another perspective to escape. Listening to Weinland, I was able to see how I was deceived. Even though Weinland is an unskilled hack with poor speaking ability, he uses the same techniques Jehovah's Witnesses did. Set the hook - We have the Truth, dig it in deeper with ever more explanations about what scripture mean, establish authority as God's mouthpiece, and on.

No more apocolomania for me. I'm free. Done.

All I know about religion and God is this:

I know that I don't know.
I know that it is impossible to know.
IF anyone tells you they know, they are, at best, wrong. They are telling you what they believe.
Believing isn't knowing.
IF God wanted to make himself known, He could, clearly and unmistakeably, make himself known. He hasn't.  
That is just what I believe. I'm not pushing it.

Mocking Weinland has been entertaining. I look forward to seeing how things play out for him. I'll be following Mike's blog and will listen to Weinland to see how he steers things. In good health, Junior and me are retiring.

I have briefly felt sorry for Ron, but only until I remind myself what he has done. He discovered he could make a good living preaching. He saw that it was best to be at the top. It became about government. He made himself the government. Governing comes with a price. He pays it in private moments when he knows he is a lying, insane, false prophet. He fights it without, but knows it within. And that is the strongest condemnation.

Dill Weed and Junior

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Dill Weed's Great End of the End Contest

The Great End of The End Contest is Ended. To win a contestant had to guess the date that Ron denies Christ by admitting He won’t return May 27th, 2012… without going over! (Price is Right rules). 
On May 27th, 2012 Weinland admitted that Christ wouldn't come on that day. Weinland said, "Well Pentecost 2012 is here and we're still here.... and while disappointing that Jesus Christ has not yet appeared in his return to this earth. He's still coming." He cagily denied Christ would not be coming that day before it had actually been completed (Jerusalem time and all that). He held out 'hope' that Christ would return that day later in the sermon, but only after admitting it wouldn't happen.

The winner of
Dill Weed's Great End of The End Contest
without going over is...
Andrew G.!!! 

(The sound of a million kazoos blasting like mighty Trumpets!)

All hail Andrew as Great and Mighty!!! Able to prognosticate, predicticate and proofesy The End of The End from The Beginning of The End!  And mightily so!

Dill Weed, what will I win? Let the rules below... well. 
The winner will receive the undying admiration and adulation of their fellow contestants which may be expressed through comments like, “Pfffftt, that was my first guess!” or “That was a dang lucky guess - that’s what I was going to say!"

Let me be the first to say, Pffft! this was my first guess and had I not lost an arm wrestling contest to Junior this would have been our guess. If your gonna arm wrestle a cat don't wrestle one who does one arm push ups.

All contestants will admit your mightiness in declaring The End of The End and predictin’ and a prognosticatin’ the implosion of Ron’s false ministry! (We'll be green with envy!) (ministry which may continue in the basements of burned out and abandoned 7-11’s in the Cleveland area.) We’ll forego the ticker tape parade in NY and simply acknowledge that


Runner up salutations to Kirrily and Baywolfe!
Sadly, Weinland continues to minister.

Dill Weed

Monday, May 28, 2012

Itchy, Scratchy Vacation

Junior and me are taking a little vacation to celebrate the prospect of upto another year of life! We will be observing Memorial Day with family.

We...err, one of us works weekends.*eyeroll* I don't count keeping my chair warm as work.Grr.

Clothed in sackcloth and itchy wool, we are absorbing the Present Truth. Junior's got his abacus out and I've got my old HP calculator, we're working out the cat calculus to determine the winner of Dillweed's Great End of the End Contest and the future of this blog.

Listening to Ron most recent post and he just made a comment about being thrown under the bus and laughed. Funny, you could tell he was really laughing about PKG members as it came just a he referred to them. It sounded stress relieving. He must have been imagining PKGers putting tithe checks in the mail. Dream on, Ron. Some are being thrown under the bus, but if they wake up they can prevent it. I hope they do.

Terminator music... We'll be back.
A good many things are more important than Ronald Weinland.
Time to see to some of them!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Ronald Weinland: The 'Lost' Interview Sept. 2009

'Lost' in the spiritual sense and updated in the literal - with hindsight on Ron's God given foresight. May PKGers be given eyes to see, ears to hear and... well, that should be enough.

One last mock before my bucket gets kicked and Junior's tail pulled for the last time.

The Great Tribulation grinds on. (Only 140 Sabbaths left!) Before God's prophet and End Time Witness gets too busy, he has graciously accepted a request for an interview with my T-Rex sock puppet, Ralph.

Q – Have you received your Two Witness powers yet?

A. (Opens mouth and… belches) Shew! Onion rings - I’m burping onion rings. Burger King. They’re giving me hellish heart burn. I thought I was going to breathe fire for a minute, but I guess not, yet. All in God’s due time and in accordance to His plan. I had Taco Bell last night. I wasn’t breathing fire, but you know…. The 1st Witness had to sleep on the couch. It’s a good thing I’m humble. (Turns out this was actually spiritual.)

Q – Have you thought up any plagues you’d like to strike the earth with?

A. Oh, yeah. I’ve been thinking about them for a while. (More spiritual - though Ron's sermons smote many.. well a few with a special kind of misery.)

Q – Are you going to target certain individuals (i.e. mockers) for especially painful plagues?

A. I have a few people in mind for a dose of Ron’s Revenge. (A dish best served cold, but will it be served? 13 hours left!)

Q - Who will be the first person(s) you smite with your Two Witness powers?

A. I’m going to let that be a surprise. (Well who doesn't like surprises? [foot nudges Junior forward.])

Q - Do you expect to give sermons to the entire world to make everyone aware you are God’s prophet?

A. I imagine I’m going to make the rounds on all the talk shows. Towards the end, I’ll be on every channel 24/7. (They key word being 'imagine' which turned into disbelief of the message given explictly by God!)

Q - You acknowledged that you’re not the greatest public speaker? Do you think God will supernaturally improve your speaking ability to better deliver His message?

A. He’ll beam them into my head. I’ve made a special aluminum foil hat with antennae to improve reception – four bars everywhere. (Is Ron, even now, praying that this cup be removed from him? Has any other prophet, old or new testament, ever had it so easy? Paper towels on bathroom floors, people not stepping out of your way, traffic jams??!!!)

Q - Will you announce beforehand how and where you will smite the earth so as to distinguish your smiting and plagues from regular old droughts and disease outbreaks?

A. No one will confuse Two Witnesses plagues and drought with any other plagues and droughts. I am God’s Prophet after all. (The ignored witnesses brought down no plagues, stopped no rain. In fact, they performed NO MIRACLES WHATSOEVER.)

Q - To be blunt, are you excited about being able to kick sinner butt with your Two Witness powers?

A. Cracks knuckles. There is going to be some Hell to pay. And, I am the bill collector. It will hurt me to do it, but it will hurt them more. (Yes, there's going to be some hell to pay. Its just that the payee is not who he expected. Welcome to your nightmare, Weinland. Those court documents will be very enlightening. Thy might get splattered all over the internet. A witness to your witness.)

Q - While I’m asking questions, I have to ask, some rumors have been going around about drinking, Ron. Ron, have you ever been kicked by the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull?

A. I don’t drink malt liquor and I don’t take bull from anybody. I AM GOD’S PROPHET!! (But, I have not eyes to see or ears to hear. I can only rely on the litmus test God gave that you failed. Ronald Weinland, The Prophet Who Failed.)

Okay, okay! Thank you, Prophet and Witness, Ron.

And now back to our regular programming.

Tick Tock.

Your time runs out, Ron Weinland.

The Hour of Your Judgment
is at Hand.

Dill Weed

To Kirrily, specifically, and everyone else, none diminished, by extension:

Thanks for your readership, for your insight, comments and for sharing your story.   : D

I've been looking forward to this. It is time to leave a record so condeming that no one listens to this con man again. He will never live this down, ever.

Dill and Junior

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Ronald Weinland: I Believe I’ll Be in Jerusalem Tomorrow

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
The New World (Summary)
Countdown: 48 hours
Remaining Sabbaths: 0
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0*
Failed Prophecies: Priceless
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

False prophet and Spokesman Witness Ronald Weinland spoke from Cincinnati, OH - just hours before an impending nuclear war and Christ’s Return. He is giving the last sermon of this 'age'. The millennium will be ushered in, in just hours!

Ron and Laura are the only ones who are for certain to become part of Elohim because it is written. The rest of you will just have to wait and see. Are you ready? Do you doubt?

Ronald and Laura Weinland’s walk of faith ends in hours!

What if it doesn’t happen? God is just. Whatever happens has a purpose.

Ron said, “If time were to go on. That we have, that I have, that we all have things to address. That if we yield ourselves to the process... something greater will be made within us. Something more will be given to us because we follow God… For my life, I know it would be a royal nightmare. But, I don’t believe those things. I believe I’ll be in Jerusalem tomorrow.”

Tomorrow, Weinland believes he will be in Jerusalem… wait for it…. without getting on a plane. (He’ll be able to skip his court date.) Laura will be there, too, along with other COG-PKGers who are miraculously transformed into *yawn* Elohim.

Welcome, Ronald Weinland to your Royal Nightmare.


Your time has run out, Ron Weinland.

Judgment day is here. 

The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well...48 hours remain.

Dill Weed

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Breaking News: Two Witnesses Job is Almost Done!

In a new and final post to his blog, false prophet Ronald Weinland declares the job of The Two Witnesses is almost done! When nukular war breaks out before noon this Saturday (May 26th, 2012) and when Christ Returns shortly thereafter to open a can of apocalyptic whoop ass on an unsuspecting world, the job of The Two Witnesses of Revelation will be done! A loud voice from heaven will beckon them to their eternal reward and they will be transformed from mere, boring mortals into Eternal Spiritual Bores!

What?! You say you've never heard of Ronald and Laura Weinland! Where have you been living? In a city of over one or two million people who also know not of God's Two Witnesses? You have an internet connection, Direct TV or cable, a working phone, access to multiple newspapers and magazines, too? And you still don't know these two?

Take a couple of deep breaths. Relax. Watch a relaxing cat video. There, all better now.

Fortunately, for you friend, some of us have taken note of Ronald and Laura Weinland's amazing, incredible, epic and dumbfounding journey as the two most powerful prophets in the bible, they look harmless don't they? (Pictured here spending the tithes of members.)  A little history

Coincidentally, they performed no miracles, not one. Even the ones they were supposed to. But, THAT'S all been explained - and just in time before Ron's brother Jesus returns all miffed and ready to RUMBLE with the BEAST. The Beast who incidentally, doesn't kill the Two Witnesses. I know. I know. Ron's explained that too. It all has to do with a church you've probably never heard of, but, whatever, you know? Christ is coming. Epic at 2:30

Epic stuff going down this weekend.
“And the same hour [when they are resurrected to spiritual life] there was a great earthquake [Gk – “shaking.” Used prophetically of a shaking of God’s people](as in not a literal earthquake), and the tenth part of the city [Jerusalem—the scattered Church,(as in previous members of COG) not physical Jerusalem] fell, and in the earthquake [shaking] there were 7,000 ‘individually named’ (as in totally screwed individuals) [Gk. word omitted from KJV] people who were slain, and the remainder [Gk. – ‘the others’, ‘the rest’] were made afraid [brought to fear], and gave glory to the God of heaven” (Rev. 11:13-14).
A reassertion of Ronald Weinland's death threats to former COG ministers:

The final event that is coming upon God’s Church that was scattered is one they all will come to personally experience and cannot deny—for all other warnings, pleas, and admonitions have been denied and ignored. Nuclear war cannot be denied! Neither can the death of 7,000 previously baptized members be ignored (denied) which will consist mostly of those in leadership and especially those in the ministry.
Nuclear war... that's for the rest of the non-believers, too.

There is, however, another group... the mockers whom Weinland has cursed with death since the beginning.

Heathen I am, I usually work the Sabbath (Saturday or Sunday take your pick.) But this weekend, I'm going to call in dead. You see...

This matter of 7,000 dying is the story that follows the job God gave to his two end-time witnesses. His own witnesses to His own Church have been rejected, mocked, and ridiculed. (You might imagine what THAT will get you.)
As if that wasn't enough...

As a final posting I am also informing all readers that a final prerecorded sermon will be posted on the Church site that can be used this Sabbath. It is recommended for those who want to use that sermon for this Sabbath that you download it as soon as it is posted so you will have it on hand.
THIS could be the most epic "I told you so" ever!

You can get his final, FINAL sermon here and all his previous, miserable, miserable, sermons there, too. (Go for the lo-fi version, it has contains all the misery of the hi-fi with less download wait.) After all, you may not have that much internet availability soon.

Dill Weed, faithful mocker since I started mocking faithfully. A fun video before Christ returns.


Ronald Weinland, your judgment day approaches.

You Have Had Quite Enough Kool-Aid.

Palm meet forehead. In a post that defies reality, we hear from Ryan May 23, 2012 at 07:39 at Mike's DDTFA blog. Probably a good idea to go palm to forehead now as you will want to get a head start because this post is a real forehead slapfest. Part of me thinks it Laura, LOL.

Didn’t Jesus Christ “spiritualize” nearly everything that the Jews believed to be true “physically? The Jews believed that they were 100% right, taking everything from prophecy physically, but then with God’s Holy Spirit, so much was revealed to be different than what they thought it was. Would you consider Ezekiel to be a false prophet since he was writing about the captivity of Israel after the event was already happening ? Or the apostles believing that God’s Kingdom would be coming within their life-times, does this make them false servants of God ? Ugh. This has no bearing whatsoever. Weinland under inspiration from God said that the things stated in his book would happen exactly as written, exactly as given to him by God, proving he was God's End Time prophet and Spokesman Witness. He shows himself a false prophet by his own words. No, not his own words. The words God gave him.

The Church has been corrected very often throughout the pages of the Bible, so how can you sit here and say that God’s Church has to be perfect in all that it says ? It is not the Church that has to be perfect, only prophets have to be perfect - in prophecy.

Who cares if the timing of this end-time didn’t happen as it was stated, (See above) obviously he was wrong about the specific timing, because he was walking by the faith of what the Church believed to be true, and then they were corrected. (Prophets don't get do-overs, God said so.) It seemed all along the way that there wouldn’t be enough time left to fulfill everything, which is why he said certain things like August 2011, or January 2012, because it seemed like it couldn’t happen any later. Even right now, I was having trouble thinking that even the beginning stuff happening Friday or later, but now it feels like it has to happen that late (Are you freaking kidding?), because as soon as the 2nd Trumpet blows, it’s all over. Israel could pre-emptively strike Iran, I feel as late as Friday night (Eastern Time) [Check in Saturday morning, if you're free.], then basically Iran and allies destroying the United States and other parts of the Western World with the some 800 targets that they already have at their disposal to strike at. (You've been watching too much RT.) Then Europe does what it does (Those waskillay Europeans they're always going to do what they do!) very quickly to try filling-in the power-vacuum that results, but could only be a few hours before the Eastern powers step on in and the 6th Trumpet blows. It just doesn’t take long for things to happen. (Please, this could all happen in less time than it takes Ron to deliver a sermon. Remember, it could happen in the Last Hour.) All of you are hung-up on the timing having to go exactly as stated. (Well, yeah, actually, that IS what Ron said under inspiration.) [Shoulder shrug]

God’s Kingdom didn’t come when the apostles (namely Peter and Paul) originally thought that it would, so why doesn’t this make them false ? (That doesn't make them false it just makes them wrong AND they weren't prophesying!) The Bible even talks about “present truth”, the truth which the Church believes until God corrects them to what is true. (Undoubtedly, Ron will reveal some new Truths to explain past Truths that need to be spiritualized because you didn't really understand them in the first place. God hid their true meaning from you tricking YOU like he did Satan, remember?) It will be your privilege to accept these new Truths as "present Truths" when God allows you too. IF you don't understand or disagree [worse yet] God hasn't given you understanding, unless of course, He's tricking you again.)

The truth of Pentecost 2012 has not changed *yawn*, once this was revealed, this end-date hasn’t changed. Other things weren’t understood like the 3.5 Days of death in the streets. (Yeah, THAT was a good one!) Have God’s servants always been 100% right and accurate about everything ? Absolutely not !! Of course not !! God’s servants are far from perfect, just like the rest of the World. Why aren’t you so hung-up on discrediting the prophets and apostles of the Bible whom weren’t perfect ? (God set the standard for sucessfull prophesying not me.) You would so chastise Ron if he murdered somebody, this alone would cause you to say he cannot possibly be a prophet of God, even though Paul was a murderer but yet he’s looked upon as being of God. (Paul did not prophesy falsely.)

If nothing happens, then fine, the Church was wrong (No, Ronald Weinland was wrong - a fatal mistake for a prophet's career to any who have eyes to see, ears to hear and brains to discern) about the Jubilee of Jesus Christ returning on Pentecost 2012. I personally won’t look at Mr. Weinland as being a true prophet of God (Yeah!), but I will still hold onto God’s 7th-Day Sabbath and the annual Holy Days because they are commanded in Scripture. (If you must.) If you’re a Christian, why aren’t you at least following those things. You seem to believe that because Ron says the Sabbath is true, that this means it must be false since it came from out of his mouth. (Personally, I don't care about the Sabbath. I work it. The upside of Christ returning is I'd probably get half the day off.) Like you don’t believe that no man has gone to Heaven because Ron said it, even though Jesus Christ himself said this very thing. How do you escape those things, I don’t get it ? (If Ron said the sun was coming up tomorrow, I'd look outside to check.)

God’s people walk by faith, and there are stumbling blocks just like there always has been since 31 A.D. God’s Holy Spirit doesn’t give everything that is asked for, it gives when it’s in God’s will and timing. God didn’t lie to Ron about the original date, Ron just got the date wrong, he thought Trumpets 2011 came from God but it didn’t, and he admitted he was wrong, and began thinking differently while continuing to walk in the faith. (Prepare thyself for Ron to be wrong again.) If you don’t believe in Ron, then don’t waste your time in listening to him. There is plenty of stuff on this web-site to supposedly convince anybody that he is wrong if that is your goal. Your goal is to destroy the Church Of God – PKG, you hate it, you can’t stand it, whether it’s right or wrong, how can you do what you do and call yourself christian ? (Pish-tosh, I could careless about COG-PKG and whether it survives or not. It DOES bother me that people are being purposely misled in the name of God because I was once too.)

How are you justified in making fun of the way people pronounce their words ? (Mockers license.) It would be like you making fun of Moses because of his speech problems that he was having. (Moses demonstrated God given power for one and hith litph apparently was not that bad though I believe he may have been prone to long sermons like Ron. I suthupect they were not pointless, the Israelites were unusually stub-b-born.) Why is it justified just because you believe he is false ? (It's not a matter of belief, but of demonstrated fact. Conviction by his own words, if you will.) At least follow the ways that Jesus Christ brought to us, how can you be christian and refuse to acknowledge what Christ said and did, and not live the way he said to live ? (I'm not Christian.) That is what I’m taking away from all of this. Even if this date passes and nothing ever happens, I have learned so much about pride and selfishness, in myself especially but in others also (like me), and how to treat people, and interact with people, I have learned so much about what is the right and true way of living life (Laughs, like paying taxes?), how to treat our fellow neighbor. (Mock them if they lie and prophesy falsely) Just like Ron said in this past sermon, if death is what’s at the end of all of this (eternal death without resurrection), then how blessed have we already been ? Just to have been able to know everybody that I’ve met so far, and especially the 30 or so from my local Church group that I’ve grown to known and love so powerfully in a short amount of time, (I've grown very fond of people in my local Cat Fancy Club) it’s been such an incredible blessing *yawn* to have been able to know them, for however long or short a time, even if death was all that was coming, even if we were to die today and never live again, how blessed have I been to know these people that are willing to do ANYTHING to help each other, and they have NEVER asked me for anything in return, not even so much as asking for thanks or gratitude, or asking for love in return, never never never has this been asked of me. (Oh you do love them ever so much!! I wonder how long it will last?) So I have learned so much about living and relationships with others, regardless of what is true or false regarding prophecy. (Don't throw paper towels on bathroom floors.)

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Beginning of the Beginning of The End From the Beginning of The End.

So what Ronald Weinland? So what?

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
The Way of Peace Pt. 2 (Summary)
Countdown: 662 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 88
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

False prophet Ronald Weinland spoke from Orlando, FL this Sabbath. Summary: Mr. Armstrong… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Mr. Armstrong… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Healing in the mind… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Now for some good stuff!

The time has come ladies gentlemen for Dill Weed’s Great End of The End contest! Each reader can guess the date that Ron will deny Christ’s May 27th 2012 arrival. (Gasp!) Yes, indeed it’s time for you to put it all on the line in this exciting contest where you guess the date of the implosion of Ron’s ministry.

Dill Weed, how can we play and what are the rules?

To enter Dill Weed's Great End of The End contest all you need to do is guess the date that Ron denies Christ by admitting He won’t return May 27th, 2012… without going over! (Price is Right rules apply - sorry, I didn't get the date right the first time.) I must not be listening too closely.

Dill Weed, what will I win?

The winner will receive the undying admiration and adulation of their fellow contestants which may be expressed through comments like, “Pfffftt, that was my first guess!” or “That was a dang lucky guess - that’s what I was going to say!”

All contestants will admit your mightiness in declaring The End of The End and predictin’ and a prognosticatin’ the implosion of Ron’s false ministry! (We'll be green with envy!)  (ministry which may continue in the basements of burned out and abandoned 7-11’s in the Cleveland area.) We’ll forego the ticker tape parade in NY and simply acknowledge that


I’ll kick things off – after some tail pulling, a few scratches, some bandages and the ransoming of a carton (That’s right a CARTON of tuna) Dill Weed, Jr. and me came up with our guess which is… drum roll…. Ron abandons the time line by May 27th, 2011. We’re in. Now, it’s your turn! (I changed my prediction date to May 27th from May 12th. (Sorry folks, Jr. and me weren't listening that closely plus we were a fussin' and fuedin' over our proph... err prediction.)

Then there were three.... Who will be GREAT?!

Who foretold the end of The End from the beginning of The End from the beginning?

Andrew G., Kirrily, or Baywolfe?

Repent!! Watch cat videos before its too late! 

How to pet a kitty

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Ronald Weinland: The End is Nigh?

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
God’s Infinite Mercy Pt 2 (Summary)
Countdown: 7 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 1
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0*
Failed Prophecies: Priceless
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

False prophet and Spokesman Witness Ronald Weinland spoke from, the UK this Sabbath. In his Last Live sermon he announced his inspired book will no longer be available by mid-week! Oh, the gnashing of teeth.

Weinland read an email from a fence-sitter who found his books online. (I do not believe this is an actual person, but a made up email to bolster Ron’s credibility.) The writer referred to himself as being ‘convicted’ to tithe after he decided to tithe "to the only church out there with the truth." Come on! Who refers to their beliefs as convictions or of being convicted? This may be an Armstongism. It seems suspicious. This person found that when they did not understand a ‘Truth’ God miraculously made them understand it later. Phht! What a bunch of hooey.

Ron admitted that nothing is happening. Just for the sake of being human he entertained the notion of 'What if' it doesn’t happen – all the while remaining … convicted it will.

I remain convicted it won’t. There will be no nuclear war before May 26th – nothing for God to stop and no return of Jesus Christ. I believe in Junior’s prophecy that Christ won’t return anytime soon, but am not sure why I need to tithe in tuna, cat food, tummy rubs and head scratches. Junior has assured me that the Great Cat God in the sky will help me understand. OK, but I'm takingback the credit card. No more international travel for massages.

When Christ doesn’t come, will Ron and Laura Weinland still be the Two Witnesses? Or will Weinland retire? (hopefully to a federal prison)

What could explain God’s deceiving the Weinland’s into believing they were the Two Witnesses? Was He tricking Satan again?

Junior has assured me again that Christ is not returning May 26th, but that IF he does, I’m in some real trouble.

Ten years from the date of Ron's last post, April 29th, 1992.

Stay home PKGers!!! More than paper towels will be thrown on the bathroom floor.


The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well...7 days and 1 Sabbaths remain.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.

Dill Weed

Monday, May 14, 2012

Total Resolve Fishing Trip

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
God's Infinite Mercy Pt 1(Summary)
Countdown: 14 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 2
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0*
Failed Prophecies: Priceless
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

False prophet and Spokesman Witness Ronald Weinland spoke from, the Netherlands this Sabbath.

Members were warned not to visit other members unless they had a three or more week supply of food because they could be there a while… nukular destruction and all that. Ron does not know which third of the earth will be destroyed by the war. You’ll either be lucky or won’t, Ron can’t tell you – he’s no fortune teller. There’s something else he’s not, either.

Ron is still spending the US dollar while it has value. Interestingly, Ron thinks that things will be up and running three weeks after nukular war. Hmm.

The scattered church remains scattered, ignorant to Ron’s *yawn* Truths. How could I live without those? I have them written on a piece of paper I use as a coaster. They're very absorbent.

Junior and me prophesy that nukular war will not occur by next Sabbath and that Ron will be able to *ugh* deliver another boring message from his impotent God.

Three must see videos!

If you’ve never watched videos on your visits, shame on you! Repent! (by watching cat videos) and you’ll be spared the mighty paw of Junior’s angry cat God!

Junior is ‘stirring things up.’ He refuses to use Canadian night crawlers on our pre-armageddon, Total Resolve Fishing Trip.

Junior says he must have Russo-Canadian night crawlers from the melting, high arctic tundra. Seems like the same thing to me, but he claims they're hardier and will get more bites. He'll dig them up, but why do I have to put them on the hook for him? Opposable tumbs. Phhtt. He's just lazy. Oh, and who do you suppose will be cleaning and cooking fish, and cutting them up for him? Grrr.

Junior sent a video from his layover in Japan (where he claims to have stirred up they Asiatic hordes). I must have missed that in the video. After he put on a thick winter coat, he flew to Russia where there was an 'international incident'.

I got PLENTY stirred up when I saw the $4,500 plane ticket on my credit card! Why does he have to fly first class? He's not been selected to be anyone's feline vice-presidential running mate, yet. Unlike Weindland's infinitely merciful god, my credit card has limits!

Mikey for President. We need a cat in the White House!

I wouldn't want to be with him on the flight back, Junior is a shedder!

Epic! Ronald and Laura Weinland’s Ascension to Heaven.
Exclusive video of Ron and Laura’s path when they ascend to heaven. (From when Junior used one of his 9 lives. Ron and Laura will be surprised to find an angry cay God waiting.)


The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well...14 days and 2 Sabbaths remain.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.

Dill Weed

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Blood, Running Red and Strong, Down the Nile

God gave it. Ron delivered it.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Unmistakeably Right
Unmistakeably Wrong? 

God's End Time prophet?
Or, just
a lying, insane, false prophet?

Junior waits to go fishing.

From his blog, Ronald Weinland:

May 27, 2012, is the time that I have stated as being the date Jesus Christ will return as King of kings over all government on this earth. For such an event to come to pass, the Trumpets of Revelation must all sound, the United States and dollar collapse, the ten nations of Europe arise to fulfill the final revival of the Holy Roman Empire, and Russia with China must unite against Europe in WWIII.

No escape. That's for sure. This is The End. We won't take anymore. Blood, lamb's blood painted door, I shall pass. The destroyer.

Cross the Red Sea,
Ronald Weinland.

Lead the PKGers,
out of Egypt.

Hold your staff high,
while they flee.

I rule the midnight air,
the Destroyer.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Tick Tock

Monday, May 7, 2012

Ronald Weinland: God Misled Us. It Was His Purpose.

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
God’s Witnesses P3 (Summary)
Countdown: 21 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 3
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0****
Failed Prophecies: Priceless
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

False prophet and Spokesman Witness Ronald Weinland spoke from, the Detroit, MI this Sabbath.

A tradition has developed: I went fishing before Harold Camping’s first and second prophecies. I have planned another fishing trip. Junior and I are going to fishing before we’re laid to waste by Weinland’s angry, lying God.

A group meeting in a another room might have overheard Ron’s sermon, he noted “They might not care to hear it today, but they would May 26th." Smug chuckles followed. Smug chuckles that will fade to dumbfounded silence May 27th. Will PKGers hang on while Ron changes the meaning of the bible and his prophecies claiming God misled us?

Weinland said that it was God's purpose for them to believe they would be baptizing the tithe of a third, the repenting hordes clamoring for Ron's Truths because events have shown him to be God's End Time prophet, blah, blah, blah. But, it ain't happening - just like everything else.

Ron stated “it could all happen in the last hour.” PKGers will be counting down! Christ’s return will be a no show just like Harold Camping.

Ron announced that members should stay in their homes May 26th because it could nasty. They should save the cans of food they have stored because ‘things are going to come to a screeching halt.’ Trucks won’t be running. The internet won’t be working, etc. But, it will eventually be back up.

Ron lamented that his mockers should suffer through his sermons. I agree. Listening is miserable. But, there are occasional laughs and I do get to mock.

Ron amped up the claim that nuclear war is imminent, we'll see. A 1/3 of the earth will be destroyed. Not my fishing hole! Agghhh!!

Could it happen in the last 45 minutes? The last 30? What about the last 15? Will Ron’s post May 26th set the stage June 2nd? What will he say June 2nd?


The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well...21 days and 3 Sabbaths remain.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.

Dill Weed

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Two Witnesses, No Miracles!

The Two Witnesses of Revelation Perform No Miracles Whatsoever?

Who'd have though THAT would happen?

Things are 'happening differently'. Differently from the bible, differently from the book God inspired Weinland to write as his last warning.

What makes the Two Witnesses the most powerful prophets ever? Fulfilled prophecies? No. More *yawn* truths? Are you kidding? So powerful that no one took notice? No one but a faithful band of mockers and a couple of cats? Amazing to under *yawn* stand? Powerfully so? Incredible? Hardly.

No powerful works NOT ONE. The Two Witnesses even fled Toronto when a comedian poked fun of Ron's brother. But oh, a month later Ron wrote the host of ideaCity a letter warning him of what was to come. My favorite part was the threat at the end of the letter...

Since I have no idea about your beliefs, I do want to say that the Eternal God, the God of Abraham, who I spoke about in my presentation, does not take this event lightly. This is not a small thing that such mocking of His Son was given audience at ideaCity and that you personally sponsored this. It is my hope that you come to see the magnitude of the severity of your decision for what occurred and that you will pursue God’s mercy in this matter because of what it will mean to you personally if you fail to do so. (emphasis mine)

Most sincerely, Ronald Weinland

Moses Znaimer has taken more note of Ronald Weinland than 6 1/2 billion other people. Maybe, he'll find that letter in the drawer he stuck it in after he had a good laugh. I bet its good for a few more.

Tick Tock. Time marches on.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Ronald Weinland: Back to Zero

A Time for Correction
Countdown: 26 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 3
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0*
Failed Prophecies: Priceless

Normally, I would blame any errors on this blog on Dill Weed, Jr. But, this time we both stepped in it. Well, we were right until we were wrong. Allow me to explain.

Some posts ago, after a night of scratching, hissing, biting and (milk) bottle throwing, Junior and me agreed to give credit to Ron for one fulfilled prophecy - The Seventh Thunder (at least a peal anyway). Well, DANG IT! Ron's pulled the blanket out from under both of us. No easy task by the way.

Ron no longer believes in the Seventh Thunder, increased publicity proving he is God's End Time prophet, Spokesman Witness, blah, blah, blah.

I have removed credit to Weinland for a fulfilled prophecy. As he himself does not believe in the prophecy he delivered, I cannot in good faith give him credit for it. Ron is back to zero.*

BUT, Junoir and me are not giving up! We are working together to fulfill the Seventh Thunder! We creating some extra content to see if we can't cause a rumble or two, set things off, maybe things will 'get stirred up'.

So grab some snacks, let the dog out, keep the cat in, feed him, pet him and burp him (you guys burp your cats, right?), turn off the TV, get some pillows, unplug the phone and take turns hitting the refresh button. Junior's got his Windows 95 powered up. I'm opening two bottles of milk so we can 'focus' on our incredbile, amazing, dumbfounding task!  : D You can't understand, but its OK.