Ron’s Great Tribulation Delays Again.

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
Our Commission Pt 2 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1195 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 171
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
2/13/09 and Still No 2nd Trumpet

Ron comments on snow in the Detroit area. (He’s still not using his Witness powers to change the weather. Next time, Bowling Green Kentucky – close to me. (Damn, that could bring out the devil in me.)

Ron rambles on about the need for unleavened bread – Passover. (Try tortillas) Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron doesn’t consider providing food miraculously for his flock. They’ll have to use their second tithes. Ron anticipates the world continuing to exist until tabernacles. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron reports God has “given him some new things.” (Oh, goody) Ron plays second fiddle to Mr. Armstrong. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Now, it’s “maybe even a year from now that things will begin to start in earnest with power.” Ron’s Great Tribulation delays again. Ron spoke of HWA having a sense of urgency. Preachers have been crying The End is near to control people for a long damn time.

Ron rails against previous COG ministers. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Agabus (Some prophet from the bible – a real one.)…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Talking about infallibility, Ron says he is to “give certain things about certain dates.” (He has given more than a few things about certain dates – all of them wrong.) God has given Ron things about chronology… like Christ returning on Pentecost 2012. It’s ABSOLUTE he says. (Oh boy, another prophecy!) And finishes with, “I am a prophet.” The prophetic claim is made again. (Grrr)

Ron rails against pride… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Humility…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Fetish. Awesome to understand…. Ron is dumbfounded… Ron marvels… (Yawn)

Ron’s little flock is looked down on by other groups. (Boo-Hoo) They are ridiculed and scorned (Waaa!) Ron gets dumbfounded again with respect to tithes. (Big surprise, eh?) Ron gets double dumbfounded. LOL

The theory of ever increasing light…. What Ron says today… trumps what he said yesterday… because God is ‘revealing more to him’… Same way with JWs and others, too. "It’s an awesome (self serving) process." (It sure is and a flexible and forgiving one, too. Most malleable to one’s wishes indeed. JWs are really sneaky about this, too. They pave the way for ‘new light’ years ahead of time – all the while maintaining urgency - much more sophisticated than Ron’s one man, one woman, Two Witness show.) The theory of ever increasing light can justify any religion.

Mightily so…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Awesome to understand…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Very powerfully so… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Nothing splinters better than COG churches.

Crow is the diet of the humbled. There “maybe no Thunders for a year. So what?” That’s a good thing.… Trumpets get louder and louder. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

A lot of this sermon focused on leaders ‘confessing error’ as a sign of the true church. Some crap about 19 year time cycles. (Sounds like some boring crap to me.)

Ron hopes the sermon was inspiring. (It wasn’t.)

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

The Unwilling Prophet

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
Our Commission Pt 1 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1202 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 172
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
2/6/09 and Still No 2nd Trumpet (No Trombone, either.)

Our Commission, couldn’t be preaching could it? Nah. What do you think? Keep those tithes a coming though. God has to lead people to Ron, he doesn’t have to go looking for them.

Ron makes traveling plans… boring… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Holy days… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Passover, Feast of Tabernacles, and the Feast of Knuckleheads. (Sounds joyous)

Australia’s having a drought, fires and floods – all not caused by Ron. Humility’s first appearance. Ron harps on the non-thundering Thunders sounding on economic problems and drought in China. More humbling….

Ron addresses questions posed by new members… (Get the drift?) People notice Ron’s errors- all explained, of course, by the (yawn) 50th Truth. Ron explains he’s being fully open… (Hmmph) …. And emphasizes that they are the only true church (Ever heard that before?)

I can’t wait until he has to alter the timeline, again. God leads the church through Ron (Eye roll) – because all that He has given Ron. (All the false prophecies and failed predictions? What god could that be?) Ron acknowledges that he made predictions as a prophet and they didn’t happen. (They should be rushing for the friggin’ doors.) New suckers…. Members coming in (as people do during ‘difficult times.’)

Ron’s errors in no way dimnish his role as God’s prophet. (And, I’m Tom Brady.) Oh here we go… Ron’s failed prophecies are God’s way of testing believers. (LOL, face palm) Ron reassures members that all the prophecies will take place as ‘prophesied’ but just when Ron doesn’t know. Ron dances around the (maypole) timeline. Ron prophecies there will be no economic recovery. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron addresses an unbeliever who left and posed the question, How would Ron answer those radio interviewers regarding his failed prophecies. Ron claims no one has called him back. (Hmmm) Ron claims that people can’t handle the truth and says he would take the interviews. Ron claims he’ll be on radio and TV when things get ‘stirred up.’ Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Oprah, Ron, Oprah. How long till Ron is dumbfounded by something?

Here we go… scriptures about false prophets. (Ron is dumbfounded by the evil out there – the evil of people who doubt him.) How will he play this? Ron claims people ‘read into scripture’ and then diverges into COG history…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. So far failing to confront the issue directly. How will Ron seek to change scripture? Ron explains that one scripture applies to prophets who performed signs and wonders and said, “Let us go after other gods.” Ron is in the clear because he hasn’t shown any signs or wonders. (Ha!)

What about prophesying and being wrong? Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Lots of COG underbrush in this argument…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron blasts former pastors for their beliefs… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. More God ‘trying us like back in April….’ God is sifting the congregation…. Ron waxes on Armstrong…. Progressive understanding… that allows for changes… (I've heard this before – new light, tacking.) Ron rambles endlessly…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

He hasn’t confronted directly the issue of prophesying falsely. Here we go… if a thing a prophet's prophesies don't come to pass…. Ron maintains that the things he said will come to pass, but just not when he thought (said) they would… (So he can still claim to not have been wrong.) Just because the timing is off… doesn’t diminish Ron’s role as God’s prophet. (What a relief.) Ron parses words… “I stated I believe…. (Does not amount to prophesy.) Weasel.

Ron’s delusion is strong.

I can’t wait until he has to change the timeline again. Can he do that and still maintain his claim to being one of the Two Witnesses? Will there be a falling away? Will God be 'testing believers'? Will there be a 51st Truth?

Ron proclaims himself an unwilling prophet. (Must be because of all that humility.) I guess God drafted him. (Whatever.)

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.
Dill Weed

Ron Rejoices at the Slaying of the False Prophets of Baal.

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
A Great Fast (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1209 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 173
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
1/31/09 and Still No 2nd Trumpet (Well, whadda you know?)
Woe to you, Ronald Weinland for you claim a station you have not been given. Woe to you, Ronald Weinland for you prophesy falsely in the name of God.

Fast talk. People just don’t understand! (Cause most people don’t listen to RW?) The world (still) has no idea that the Great Tribulation has begun. Ron thanks God that people aren’t suffering yet. (Face palm) 173 Sabbaths until Christ returns. (Is Christ on Ron’s time table?) More fast talk. It’s important. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. I wonder how much more has God given Ron?

How does one fast spiritually anyway? (By not listening to Ron’s sermons.) That’s awesome to understand. How long until Ron’s humility fetish kicks in? You know it’s coming accompanied by jarring ill timed increases in volume. Shades of it. (Shudders)

Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Oh, here we go Ron’s talking about pride the flip side of his humility fetish. Heads Ron wins, tails you lose. (Ugh) Ron’s mouth is dry. (Brightens, maybe a shorter sermon? Please, please, please!) Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Maybe Ron should try a pebble in his mouth. Ron exchanged some emails with a member who had a question. (Yes!) That person got wise and bailed! (Yippee!)

Ron is dumbfounded by people who would find fault with Mr. Armstrong’s financial dealings. (Hmmm. Grrr)

Ron reflects on his former meager financial circumstances compared to now. (Tithes will do that for you.) Ron defends his financial position stating he could have even more. (Dip deeper into the tithes? Grrr)

Ron is dumbfounded by King Ahab’s worshipping Baal. ( A stiff necked and stubborn people , remember?)

Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Elijah stops the dew and rain. (When will Ron? Hmmm, have his Two Witness powers kicked in yet?) Blah, blah, blah, blah….
Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Awesome to understand… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Obadiah, Jebidiah… Blah, blah, blah, blah….Ron is dumbfounded by the growth of the church and claims 20,000 members. Says more are coming in from ‘the world’, but gives no numbers. He claims millions will come into the church because things will get “stirred up.”

Here we go: Ron reflects on his changed predictions and timeline refers specifically to the radio interviews and people saying “you’re no prophet”, but claims it is not his fault and that he is still God’s prophet. (2 face palms, LOL)

Ron recalls Elijah’s dealings with the false prophets of Baal and his vindication as God’s prophet. (I wonder if Ron gets the irony.) Is Elijah’s God the same as Ron’s? Will God verify Ron Weinland as His prophet? If He doesn’t will Ron admit he is a false prophet? What will this do to him psychologically? Ron promises he will be dumbfounded again and so will his followers. (Oh boy!) Ron claims his failed predictions were put into his mind by God. (Ron, why did they fail then?) Ron rejoices at the slaying of the false prophets of Baal.

Pray for louder thunders…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

The revealing of the Thunders will validate Ron as God’s prophet whom he is working through. (That’s God’s plan of course, He told Ron in his mind.) More humility…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. The timing of the Thunders is to be revealed through His prophet, Ron, in God’s Final Witness. (It has been thoroughly discredited here Don’t Drink the Flavor Aid.)

Ron claims he’s never seen earthquakes like he has seen today (1st Thunder). The U.S. Geological Service sees things differently though and they track earthquakes around the world here USGS and here Are earthquakes increasing?

It’s not Global Warming, its Ron’s 2nd Thunder (Weather)

The 4th Thunder is Global Economic upheaval. The Dow is barely at 8000 and Ron asks members to pray for things to get worse. Ron celebrates the bad times.

The 5th Thunder is Death, first within the church, referring to former members he cursed to die. He talks about some ministers who were murdered, but is not specific. The ones Ron cursed he cursed to die slowly from within, but not from murder. (No dice, Ron.)

Death in the world from plagues will increase mightily.

The 6th Thunder is the growing awareness of Ron (and Laura) as God’s Witnesses through the ever increasing (never decreasing) Thunders.

The 7th Thunder is the growing revelation of God to man.

Ron boohoos about writing about the Thunders. It was hard. (Mmmh) Here’s a real kicker: Ron says about those teaching false doctrine – it is better that they should die. (Hmm) Many would be happy if they just admitted it and stopped – forever. He says that people object to his predictions because they are ‘harsh and unjust and undeserved’. In reality, people don't object to his predictions they just point out that they are wrong.

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Ronald Weinland’s ‘Not So Great Tribulation.’

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
Countdown: 1216 Days
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
Esther Pt. 2 (Sermon Summary)
1/24/09 and Still No 2nd Trumpet (Well, whadda you know?)

Woe to Ronald Weinland for you claim a station you have not been given. Woe to Ronald Weinland for you prophesy falsely in the name of God.

Ron welcomes some new suckers… err members. Ron seems cheerful, but you know his mood can spin on a dime especially when he starts talking about his fetish, humility. Ron says his message won’t be received unless God opens their minds. (Huh) Seems to me most people would hear his message with an open, but critical mind. Calling what you have the “Truth” closes down any potential questioning. (Grrr)

Ron says the group is a spiritual family – a lot of cults say the same thing.

Ron purchased some wine. (Why didn’t he just turn water into wine? That must not be working, yet.) More fast talk… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Rumblings going on? Discontent among the membership in these Last Days? (Damn questioners!) Nobody can understand why ‘the church’ was scattered except believers. (Eye roll. Sounds like crap to me.) Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron gets worked up about the Sabbath. We’re special. Only we understand. (And of course that understanding comes through Ron. (Ugh.)

Hey Ron, how about prophesying and stating that you are prophesying? A prophetic test. Show that you are one of the Two Witnesses!

Esther and Mordeci…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. (Ron messes up their relationship and the Second Witness corrects him (when asked, of course, showing her submission. Hee-hee.) He says he’s not good at some things. (I say, Ron is not good at a lot of things.) Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. “Because we see the truth so clearly….” (There’s a laugher.)

Esther and Mordeci …. Mordeci and Esther…. …. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. (When will Ron’s humility fetish rear its ugly head?) Blah, blah, blah, blah…. (There it is.) Haman gets hanged.

Ron marvels that God can hear all the prayers at once of “the church” all 150,000 and 90,000 of them that are baptized. (One would think that would be a given with God, right?)

Ron marvels mightily over cell phones…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Hard times be a coming, ya’ll. Hard times be a coming. (Word.)

Ron is dumbfounded by people’s impatience, people who want things to happen now. The things about the Two Witnesses won’t happen UNTIL after those things happen. (Good laugh, there.) Everything is going to be later… (Sound familiar?)

No such phrase as Great Tribulation in the bible. (?!) LOL, Ron plays down the start of the ‘Great Tribulation’. The Great Tribulation starts with a whimper? (Immediately after trying to change scripture Ron has microphone difficulties. (A sign?)

The wimpy start of ‘Ron’s Not So Great Tribulation’ is a test of faith. (Wow!)

Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….
Ron’s dumbfounded by the part the church will play… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Laodicea… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron’s dumbfounded again. (Any wonder?) Ted Garner Armstrong haunts Ron’s dreams. (LOL)

Ron’s been betrayed by people he once loved with all his heart. Some of very the same people he has pronounced a declarations of death on, initially slow deaths, and then speedy deaths, even naming them in his book. (What about forgiveness, Ron? What about forgiveness?)

Someone in Australia defected and wrote a letter spelling out why. (Good for them.)

Ron asks members to pray to ‘stir up the Thunders’ so more can be humbled and saved. (Whatever) The Thunders are ministry tools. (With that, I puke.)

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

The Best Way To Enjoy Ron’s Sermons

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
Countdown: 1223 Days
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
Esther Pt. 1 (Sermon Summary)

Will Ron prophesy? Will he bore me to death? Let’s find out! (Turns football game on.) Ron’s outdated book is still available. (Hurry out and get one!) Ron complains about bad weather. (He can stop the rain, but not snow?) Ron tries to remember where he is to the hearty chuckles of the deluded.

Ron puts restrictions on fasting to avoid an incident which could lead to bad publicity. What about false prophecies and fleecing the flock? (Oh, well.) Same ole… same ole…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. More Laodicea talk. (Dumbass) Ron’s leaving his erroneous predictions on the website shows his humility. (Right.)

We’re still waiting for the 2nd Trumpet. (Ho-hum) His humility fetish is kicking in accompanied with a side of yelling (as usual). Ron confronts the issue of his mistaken predictions directly stating that he does not know what’s going to happen and that he has been wrong, but this doesn’t take away from his being a prophet! By that logic he can go on inventing timelines forever. (Grrrr)

Members can keep 2nd tithes for church festivals (Church fun, I suppose.) 2nd Trumpet may not blow in 2009. God hasn’t been in touch with Ron about the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th Trumpets. Ron says he won’t know UNTIL they happen! (Like us) What the Hell good is he as a prophet then? What accountability is there with Ron?

Ron rails on the 50th Truth. (Dare you doubt God and His prophet Ron!? You’d be full of pride. LOL) Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Sermon filler… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron marvels about the wealth of some ancient nation.

I hope that Ron’s listeners will start to question Ron’s “not knowing” and the lack of evidence that he is one of the Witnesses – no power over weather, not striking the earth with plagues, the continued life of his mockers, etc.

Jebadiah begot Habbakuk and it was perfectly cromulent… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

The Arizona Cardinals won, yippee! (Blasphemy, pure blasphemy.) Something about Esther and Mordecai… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. (Boring…)

Ever heard of The Prophetess Waneeta Bynum? She’s getting a divorce, abusive husband I think. (So much for foresight, another failed prophet.) Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Pittsburgh just scored 13 – 0… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. (God, 41 minutes of sermon left.)

I wonder since Ron was wrong about all that other stuff could he be wrong about the 1st Trumpet, too? He stated directly that it blew December 14th. I wonder if anyone else is wondering.

Ron slaps podium and wakes me up. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. He’s thundering now. (again)

Twice more with the the 2nd Trumpet may not blow in 2009 and then he sneaks maybe two years! (Rich, rich indeed.)

The 3 ½ years of Great Tribulation that wasn’t (?), Ron laughs about being 8 months off. You're wrong, wrong, wrong, Ron.


Tick Tock. Your time is running short, Ron.
Dill Weed

Whence Cometh The Beast?

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)

Countdown: 1230 Days

Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Fasting for Humility Pt. 2 (Sermon Summary)

A lot of fast talk… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Keep your fasting and prayer secret. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

God does Ron ramble! Ron needs help putting his sermons together. Ron has some sort of fetish about humilty. (Sigh) Ron rails against the world. Mankind must be humbled. (Sermon filler)

Stock market, unemployment, banks not loaning money… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. As time goes on God will give more about what’s happening…. (Surely, if it comes through Ron it will not be clear.)

Ron waxes nostalgic and marvels at the age of the universe… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron marvels at whats happening with the US and the dollar. Ron marvels more at the universe. (Eyeroll, anything to avoid prophesying, I guess.)

Tithe talk. (Get out your wallets, ladies and germs.) Ron thinks the Anti-Christ are unbelievers. (The bible refers to him as an individual.)

How long can it be until the 5th Trumpet? 2 years? The longer the better says Ron because it shortens the time of suffering during the Great Tribulation. It also leaves less time for the last two Trumpets and the Seven Bowls. (And gives him a softer deadline.) Apocolyptic filler… Nuclear winter…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron doesn’t know when Europe arises or when Trumpets blow. (That blows.)God tells the end from the beginning, Ron just rambles.

Ron rails against prideful believers balking at his mistaken predictions.He makes it about their pridefullness rather than his errors – which he says were made out of an attempt to save others- thus they should be overlooked. (Whatever.)

Tick Tock. Your time is short, Ron.

Dill Weed

The (Dumb)Founded Prophet

A Prophet’s Log. (Flushing Sound)

Countdown: 1237 Days

Number of Fullfilled Prophecies: 0


Fasting for Humility Pt. 1 (Sermon Summary)


Blech! Another fast!

Sermon filler…. Blah, blah, blah….

We don’t know what to do until God tells us… (Thru Ron, of course.)

Ron rails (mightily) against pride - again… Blah, blah, blah….

Ron uses a ‘letter from a believer’ to bolster his credibility. (Disingenuously, he’s reinforcing himself as God’s Prophet and hammering away that one should not question!) Yawn.

Ron is dumbfounded by how blind people are… Blah, blah, blah….

Ron is dumbfounded by the things the church has gone thru… Blah, blah, blah….

Blah, blah, blah…. Blah, blah, blah…. Blah, blah, blah…. Blah, blah, blah….

What if the 2nd Trumpet delays a year? A year and a half? (Creating space by introducing the idea the 2nd Trumpet might be delayed - by believers prayer and fasting (no less) resulting in more people being saved.) If you doubt, you have a problem with pride. (Can prayers and fasting delay God's plan leading to Armageddon? Is this an attempt to distract from the repeated failure of Ron's 'prophecies' to materilize?)

Ron says God speaks to him in his mind, yet he is unable to deliver reliable information. I dare say that information from God would be reliable. What's going on in Ron's head?

This sermon was a wet firecracker – a real dud - a mighty waste of two hours. Well, not a total waste, I was watching football on mute. : P


Tick Tock. Your time is short, Ron.

Dill Weed