Saturday, February 27, 2010

Ronald Weinland: Healing the Mind, Boring the Flock

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
Healing the Mind Pt 4 (Summary)
Countdown: 817 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 117
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

Minor false prophet, Ronald Weinland, spoke from Cincinnati, OH today. There was a ministerial meeting so members could prepare to welcome the thousands who will soon flock to PKG because they have been humbled by the events of the on-going, raging Great Tribulation.

Ron rails on about the Sabbath. No one can understand it, blah, blah, blah, …. It’s all about family. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Maybe he'll he say something of import. How about a Thunder update?

Chile experienced some powerful earthquakes. Thankfully, mostly away from populated areas so the death toll is relatively low and the tsunami warnings have gone out and the waves aren't too big.

There is an odor of formaldehyde and it’s affecting the prophet. They may have to move to an upper room. Perhaps they will receive the Holy Spirit? Ron rails against gossipers in the business world and some gossipers in the church. *yawn*

Ron rails against “butts all over the ground” eliciting laughter; Ron rages against selfish people who throw paper on the ground and recommends picking up litter to church members. WOW! Ron says he seen people acting like pigs throwing paper towels on the ground (again) and says he’d like to grab them by the nape of the neck and hits his fist against his hand (there was a slapping noise.) NOW, that’s good preaching!

Ron is not afraid to tackle the heavy issues afflicting this world!

Cool video of the week.

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed


Kirrily XPKG said...

*yawn* paper towels again hey? He needs new material.

jack635 said...

says he’d like to grab them by the nape of the neck and hits his fist against his hand (there was a slapping noise.)

Funny how he can preach about love and how it is required not to hate ones brother, and in the same sermon want to grab a brother by the neck and....

The word hypocrisy comes to mind.
hypocrisy 1. If you accuse someone of hypocrisy, you mean that they pretend to have qualities, beliefs, or feelings that they do not really have.

Baywolfe said...

Shouldn't Ron's death toll be in the negative numbers? You know, -1 for every one of his "elect" that dies, while he's not killing a single "enemy."