Saturday, May 30, 2009

Ronald Weinland’s Prostrate…

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
Revelation of Pentecost (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1090 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 156
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Ronald Weinland’s Prostrate… in Cincinnati for a boring Pentecost sermon and 'celebration'. *Yawn*

Will Ron announce he has received Two Witness powers? It would be timely wouldn’t it?

Ron heard some kind of negative comment about his Idea City appearance and takes exception to it because “people make foolish comments because it is God’s work.” If God has a purpose, by allowing Ron to appear at Idea City everyone should be 100% behind it. He chastises his critic for criticizing God’s prophet. (GIMME A FRIGGIN’ BREAK! AGGGHH!)

New understanding will be in this sermon because of ‘things that have happened’ namely the failure of Ron’s prophecies to materialize. (Maybe a 51st Truth?) Ron talks scripture… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Bring in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves. First fruits, second fruits, fruits of the loom. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron prattles on and on…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Sheep this, Sabbath that… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

God has ‘given it to Ron that he should be in Toronto to eat lunch with people.” (Whatever) Maybe, he’ll receive Two Witness powers there? Don't choke on an olive, Ron.

Oh, here we go a second mention about comments that Ron would go and eat with some gentiles on a Sabbath. (GASP!) There is no room for dissent(ers) in Ron’s church. They’re counting down every day. (You right about that, Ron.) Ron’s expecting Christ’s return three years from today! (Heh, heh, heh)

Ron links the Feast of Trumpets to the Trumpets of Revelation, but does not get specific. (Surprise!) Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron says he is the Last of the First Fruits. I think he is the Fruitiest of all the Fruits. Ron are your Fruit of the Looms too tight?

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Ronald Weinland: Second Trumpet Continues to Delay

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
In Awe of God Pt 6 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1097 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 157
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

The false prophet speaks from his home Cincinnati, OH. Netherlands next week, (thanks for the tithes). The first Witness has a bad back. He passed out twice from the pain. He had a heart attack in 2005. He now lives with the confidence of living until he is slain by the Beast in about 3 years.

God still has not revealed the time of the 2nd Trumpet. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron marvels at pictures taken by the Hubble telescope. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron claims that the jury selection process has nothing to with justice. Preposterous, jury selection is designed to root out people who may have already reached a conclusion, those whose minds are already made up. Ron you are a damn knucklehead. (Sheesh) If he is ever prosecuted by the IRS, you bet he’ll want his lawyers to weed out anybody whose mind maybe be influenced by his claims to be a prophet.

Sighs and podium slaps… everybody’s so stupid… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. It’s good to take a bath… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. He doesn’t like people who stink sitting next to him on the plane…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. He’s rambling all over the place…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. People who have left Ron’s church have minds like scrambled eggs.

Trillions of galaxies with billions of stars… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Sabbath…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron gets really worked up! Is he God’s prophet? I AM A PROPHET. I AM HIS WITNESS! GET OFF THE POT! YOU HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE!!! Blah, blah, blah, blah….

China’s buying up everything! China’s putting their money into resources. (True, but that does not make Ron a prophet.) Here we go, Ron asks, “How many cities do you have to see go up in smoke?” (Bald face appeal to fear. Grrr)

Everything you need is on the website…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Sabbath and tithing determine one’s acceptability to God without these things God can’t help you. (Hmmph) Ron calls on the brethren to bring their tithes and that beyond tithes, offerings, too.

Rock on, Ron, rock on.

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Ronald Weinland, “Time Will Tell.”

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
In Awe of God Pt 5 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1104 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 158
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Vancouver, WA this week, RW says preliminary plans are being made for Feast of Tabernacles, provided of course they’re able to have it this year. Ron adds that “time will tell.” It certainly will. Tick Tock.

Ron trumpets his appearance at Idea City. Is this the beginning of the world coming to know God’s Two Witnesses? Ron states there has to be some reason behind this because of the timing. Ron is the Armageddon Forecaster.

Ron claims his appearance at Idea City is one of the Thunders. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron explains scriptures to his congregation because they can’t understand them. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron rails against pride…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron’s gone off the rails…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. He’s still ranting…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Time will indeed tell.

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Five Months in and Still No Two Witness Powers...

Ronald and Laura Weinland are FIVE MONTHS into their ministry and have yet to use their Two Witness Powers to 'strike the earth with plagues as often as they wish, stop the rain, etc.' So much for starting off with a bang.

The picture above is what Australia would look like IF Ron (and I suppose Laura, too) had, holding hands together using their Two Witness Powers, struck Australia with a freak snowstorm. I think we can assume that Ron and silent Witness Laura will announce when they *yawn* are going to use their God given Two Witnesses of Revelation powers. After all, they would not want people to assume that freakish weather, droughts, *yawn*, plagues, etc. were just the regular old kind of stuff that occasionally happens, right? That seems a reasonable assumption in my book.

I emailed this, picture included, along with a link to this blog, to Ron and Laura. I hope to hear back from them soon.

Tick Tock, Your time runneth short, Ron

Dill Weed

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Ron Weinland, I Am Dill Weed. Tick-Tock

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
In Awe of God Pt 4 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1111 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 159
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Ron and Laura continue their prophetic tour in Spokane. Tabernacles…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. The bigger economic fall is still to come…. Trumpets are (still) delaying…. We know where we are in time…. (Didn’t we know that before, God’s Prophet and 1st Witness?)

Sermon filler… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. 2nd helping of sermon filler… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron comments on the large amount of people who have come and gone… (They’ve just left God, slaps podium.) People eventually wise up and leave. How about installing a revolving door for critical thinkers and people who question?

Ron bemoans websites out there. They hate him so much. They are full of hatred and bitterness. News Flash: Ron it is not you that I hate. I hate your lies, false prophecy, and that you mislead and exploit people in the name of God. That’s what I hate. You’ll answer to God not to me. I just point the finger. It is a good thing that bloggers are chronicling your deception so there is a warning for potential victims.

Just for kicks I listened to the 50th Truth and the sermon that preceded it, you know the one where you said, “God spoke to me while I was reading some scriptures in last week’s sermon.” I don’t think that was God, Ron. I think it you realized your predictions were wrong and in danger of failing in a big way and that you needed to correct yourself.

But, you didn’t. You just reset the timeline and said that you were not presumptuous in setting those dates and that you did not need to repent because God had given them to you knowing what you would do. Ron, you blamed God for the mistaken dates you gave. That is despicable – mightily so.

Ron complains about his mockers. He is very aware of the time passing (Tick-Tock) and his ‘prophecies’ continuing not to be fulfilled (Tick-Tock). Ron is wrestling with how to readjust the timeline again, but is beginning to see that it is nearly impossible to do so and maintain any credibility at all, especially with the cannon he has built. The more time that ticks by, the harder it will be to cut himself loose from the 'prophecies' he has made. (Tick-Tock)

Ron, you cannot handle the truth, but it will keep rearing its head, putting the lie to your words (which are not God given).

How do you say, “I’m still God’s prophet, but my job as His Witness, hasn’t started for a second time.”?

How do you reset the beginning of the Great Tribulation again and maintain any credibility? How?

That is what I am waiting for. That is why I listen to your lousy sermons. And I know lousy sermons, I’ve heard plenty.

Ron rails mightily against ESPN broadcasters and their sports coverage. He rants against CNN and FOX news. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron has also been watching poker on TV, too. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron would rather travel by air than be in traffic, especially in Seattle. (Dig deep brethren. Tithe till it hurts.) Ron complains about selfish people who litter. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron hates people who litter. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. (Man, he’s really gone off the rails! LOL)

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Monday, May 4, 2009

Ronald Weinland’s Expiration Date - September 9, 2010

Ron and Laura Weinland's Ascension to Heaven (Artist's depiction)

Ronald Weinland’s Expiration Date is September 4, 2010.

At the time of writing, we are 142 days into Ron and Laura’s ministry. There are 1118 exciting days left.

December 14, 2009 will place us 1 year into *yawn* Ron’s 1260 day End Time ministry.

Ron Weinland’s Credibility

(I know Ron really has no credibility, but I’m playing along with his delusion just for fun.)

Ron must keep up appearances and deal with facts which continue to contradict his delusional claims. He must do this for himself, his believers and most importantly for his credibility.

The Expiration Date of Ron’s Credibility is September 4, 2010. Why?

It is the half-way point of his ministry. The longer nothing continues to happen the greater the pressure on Ron’s credibility. He cannot back out of the claims he has made below and maintain any type of credibility.

Ron has inextricably tied himself to some outrageous claims.

1. The first is rather generic – his claim to be a prophet.

2. The second is more specific, his claim that (snicker) he and his wife are The Two Witnesses of Revelation.

3. The Seven Thunders.

4. Declaring that the Seventh Seal was opened – December 14, 2008 marking the beginning of his 1260 day End Time ministry and the 3 ½ years preceding Christ’s Return.

Questions and Answers

Q - In the absence of verification of his claims (Thunders, Trumpets, etc), can Ron maintain his claim of being the 1st of The Two Witnesses of Revelation?

A - No, of course not!

Q - Could the Two Witnesses of Revelation mistake the beginning of their God given ministry? (Guffaw)

A - No, of course not!

Q - Can Ron readjust his claims and maintain any credibility whatsoever?

A - No, of course not! There is no reset on this!

Ronald Weinland has painted himself into a corner he cannot get out of. This has been documented in his books, sermons, and on his website as well as on the websites of those opposing this false prophet’s claims.

Ron has written his own end and the clock is ticking.

A question comes to mind: "What kind of person could make such claims, have them fail, and continue to make similar claims and still live with themself?"

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Ronald Weinland: The Dough Must Flow. Thou Shalt Tithe.

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
In Awe of God Pt 3 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1118 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 160
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

From Denver, CO…. the false prophet speaks…. 2nd Passover….. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

God’s spirit communicates with us… err, Ron and Ron delivers it to us (Praise God).

When you believe what Ron tells you, that’s God communicating to your mind. (Guffaws and slaps knee.) Testing 1, 2, 3…. Apparently, members can’t hear Ron raising his voice. (Hmmm) God communicates with us and it’s always a matter of humility. (Ron’s humility fetish kicks in… sigh… this could be a really long sermon.)

God’s going to call a lot of people through church members. (Uh, weren’t we just supposed to refer them to the website?) Will Dill Weed be called? Phone rings. (Shock) It was a wrong number. (Heh-heh-heh) Ron talks about gaseous states in the universe…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron’s glad that since April God has allowed the church to gain ‘experience.’ Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron rehashes the past… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

There is government in the church and Ron is it. He is the sheriff. You just don’t understand. Trumpets…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. It blows Ron’s mind that people leave the church…. (Failed prophecies? Tithe fatigue? Wising up?) Doubt Ron and you doubt God. You cut yourself off from God when you stop tithing.

Here we go! Some have not tithed in over a year. Ron’s keeping track - on cards, no less. (Snicker, snicker.) Ron’s heart goes out to non-tithers, some lose jobs, etc. Ron understands - he truly does, BUT YOU DON’T DROP GOD! Ron is going to drop non-tithers! (they will be cut off.) Elders will be asking some to leave. (Too funny)

Switzerland (the tribe of Gad) is not responding to Ron’s ministry. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Too many want the gold! Especially, non-tithers!

Ron says he has lived a rich life and laughingly comments that some have said, "Yeah, cause your living off the tithes!" If the shoe fits.

Ron complains about smokers polluting the air he breathes. Second picture is Iron Maiden's Holy Smoke - appeared about the time of Jim and Tammy Baker, Jerry Falwells ascent into his tower, and Jimmy Swaggart's fall. Seems appropriate.

Meek means teachable, teaching only comes through the church, Ron speaks for the church as Sheriff and 1st Witness, so... (Sheesh) God tells Ron, Ron tells you. Any questions? (that's rhetorical by the way. No questions will be tolerated.)

Ron: "When you meet someone else there is a bond like with no one else."


Dill Weed: "Uh, you simply believe the same crap, unquestioningly, and reinforce it amongst yourselves, mindlessly."

Been there, done that. Done with that. Period.

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed