Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A Balm for All Relationships. Two Practices That Always Work.

A post for one and all that can only truly be understood when memorized. And then, ones discovers thesee two things always work, make an out, improve relationships and restore peace no matter what. One's appreciation deepens for these two things once you really understand them. Here they are, forgiveness and acceptance defined.

Memorize the following about forgiveness and acceptance word for word then you will experience their power. Worth every effort, I promise. A gift for my e-friends. : )


1. You don’t bring up what happened to harm the other person’s reputation. You don’t maliciously gossip.

2. You don’t want the other person to be afraid of or intimidated by you.

3. You give up ANY desire for revenge.

4. You help the other person forgive them self.

5. Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

6. You must forgive yourself to receive forgiveness from others.


It is MOST IMPORTANT to accept things you don’t like, agree with, or condone because when you do, you will have peace of mind and heart and will, as a result, be better able to deal with those things whatever they are. Acceptance creates peace. Non-acceptance always leads to anger, frustration, and despair.

Memorize it sentence by sentence. To really ingrain it, repeat it backward starting with the last sentence.

Dill Weed

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Ronald Weinland: The Prophet Who Himmed And Hawed

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
Our Father (Summary)
Countdown: 971 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 139
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Don't forget to join Dill Weed, Jr. in the followers section. Just remember to bring a can of tuna and some catnip!

Chandler, AZ today, Ron didn’t give the sermon last week because he was “drained” and couldn’t give the sermon. God did not empower him to give it.

Ron comments on going from the heat of summer in AZ to spring in New Zealand. Ah, the joys of world tithe financed travel.

Ron lists some deaths (not of people whom he has cursed.) Ron shuffles papers and switches gears for the sermon. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

It appears Ron will studiously avoid prophecying. Another run of the mill sermon's in the offing. Ugh. Uniplural word? Hmm. A Ronism, I believe. Nope, it seems there is a thing called a uniplural noun (Googled, I did) with a page of explanation that I came nowhere near to wanting to read.

"We can't understand the truth until God reveals it." (Ron's credibility crutch.) And who does He reveal it through? Ron, of course. God revealed to Ron that he is His End Time prophet and 1st and spokesman for the Witnesses of Revelation. (Heh-heh-heh) But, what will time reveal?

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.

Dill Weed

Monday, September 21, 2009

Ronald Weinland Interviewed by Dill Weed’s Sock Puppet

The Great Tribulation grinds on. (Only 140 Sabbaths left!) Before God's prophet and End Time Witness gets too busy, he has graciously accepted a request for an interview with my T-Rex sock puppet, Ralph.

Q – Have you received your Two Witness powers yet?
A. (Opens mouth and… belches) Shew! Onion rings - I’m burping onion rings. Burger King. They’re giving me hellish heart burn. I thought I was going to breathe fire for a minute, but I guess not, yet. All in God’s due time and in accordance to His plan. I had Taco Bell last night. I wasn’t breathing fire, but you know…. The 1st Witness had to sleep on the couch. It’s a good thing I’m humble.

Q – Have you thought up any plagues you’d like to strike the earth with?
A. Oh, yeah. I’ve been thinking about them for a while.

Q – Are you going to target certain individuals (i.e. mockers) for especially painful plagues?
A. I have a few people in mind for a dose of Ron’s Revenge.

Q - Who will be the first person(s) you smite with your Two Witness powers?
A. I’m going to let that be a surprise.

Q - Do you expect to give sermons to the entire world to make everyone aware you are God’s prophet?
A. I imagine I’m going to make the rounds on all the talk shows. Towards the end, I’ll be on every channel 24/7.

Q - You acknowledged that you’re not the greatest public speaker? Do you think God will supernaturally improve your speaking ability to better deliver his message?
A. He’ll beam them into my head. I’ve made a special aluminum foil hat with antennae to improve reception – four bars everywhere.

Q - Will you announce beforehand how and where you will smite the earth so as to distinguish your smiting and plagues from regular old droughts and disease outbreaks?
A. No one will confuse Two Witnesses plagues and drought with any other plagues and droughts. I am God’s Prophet after all.

Q - To be blunt, are you excited about being able to kick sinner butt with your Two Witness powers?
A. Cracks knuckles. There is going to be some Hell to pay. And, I am the bill collector. It will hurt me to do it, but it will hurt them more.

Q - While I’m being asking questions, I have to ask, some rumors have been going around about drinking, Ron. Ron, have you ever been kicked by the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull?
A. I don’t drink malt liquor and I don’t take bull from anybody. I AM GOD’S PROPHET!!

Okay, okay! Thank you, Prophet and Witness, Ron.

And now back to our regular programming.

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.

Dill Weed

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Will God give Ron Weinland Paul Crouch’s TBN?

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
Trumpets (Summary)
Countdown: 978 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 140
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Pre-recorded bologna… err sermon from God’s End Time prophet, Ron - an improving economy, decreasing crime, and independent US, UK and Australia. Wha?!

Will Ron speak of his Great Tribulation(s)? Has some monstrously wicked person left their used paper towels laying on a bathroom counter somewhere? Will Ron have a hellish cab ride and forgive the driver before it is over, perhaps even sharing some words of his witness?

Ron deviated from his plan to give a live sermon to the US. Instead, this pre-recorded bal… err sermon was provided. *yawn* Send your offerings in, brethren.

Ole Ron does miss a beat. He is a good a Benny Hinn and the other preacher hucksters out there. You can send as little as a dollar. No change please, seriously.

Last year’s Feast of Trumpets was the announcement of Christ’s return May 12, 2012. It began the 1335 days of unsliced bologna and unpickled pickles. Pink Floyd asked, “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”

Ron notes the rebounding economy, of course it was just like ancient times. Man is arrogant. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron trots out a teaser for ‘the addition’ to the 50th Truth on the Last Great Day. Blah, blah, blah, blah….
Ron reasserts that he “knows he is a prophet.” Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Tick Tock.

Tennessee vs Florida is on, yeah! Go Florida!

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ronald Weinland: Crime DECREASES during Great Tribulation

Confirming God's Prophet and End Time Witness' declaration that crime will DECREASE during the Great Tribulation we have this.

FBI: Murder, violent crime dropped in 2008

By DEVLIN BARRETT (AP) – 1 hour ago

WASHINGTON — Murder and manslaughter dropped almost 4 percent last year, as reported crime overall fell around the country, according to new data released Monday by the FBI.

The 3.9 percent decline in killings reported to police was part of a nationwide drop in violent crime of 1.9 percent from 2007 to 2008. Rapes declined 1.6 percent, to the lowest national number in 20 years — about 89,000.

The statistics are based on crimes reported to police, who then forward the information to the FBI. There were 14,180 murder victims in the United States last year.

"What has been impressive has been how flat all the violent crime rates have been since 2000. To a large degree that's still the case, but the striking change this year has been murder," said Alfred Blumstein, a professor of criminal justice at Carnegie-Mellon University.

The figures show that crime has come way down since its peak in the early 1990's.

Yes, indeed, Ronald Weinland's Great Tribulation is steaming forward full speed ahead.

This report brought to you by Dill Weed, Jr.

Tick Tock

Dill Weed

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Ronald Weinland: Jesus Told Me 2011 MLB Season Canceled.

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
Prepare for the Feast Pt. 2 (Summary)
Countdown: 985 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 141
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

The real 1st trumpet =>
(Will look like this.)

Ron’s in Columbia, MO this week.
The 2nd Trumpet still has not sounded, surprised? Will Ron break off some new prophecy? Will he spiritualize another part of the Great Tribulation? Has Ron been tormented by wicked people who don’t throw away their paper towels? Stay tuned.

Florida Gators are kicking Troy’s butt in football 49 to 6.
The world is condescending (huff) sick, sick world. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Will Ron drop the bomb that God has called off the Great Tribulation because of the January fast? (Hee-hee)

The Feast is about fellowship. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Yea and lo Ron maintains his prophetic silence.

Yea and lo by 2011, The Great Pum... Tribulation will be in full swing and the MLB won't be.

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Prophet Ronald Weinland: Bumper Stickers and Fast Food.

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
Prepare for the Feast Pt. 1 (Summary)
Countdown: 992 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 142
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Cincinnati, OH. The ‘spirit world is really stirred up and stress levels out there are high. Something is going to happen.’

God’s Spokesman and 1st Witness inform us that bumper stickers with biblical messages are idolatry and cheapen God. Better get a scraper out and get rid of that fish. God is displeased by biblical bumper stickers. (Well, that’s news.)

The fall season is supposed to result in a big increase as the spring season hasn’t yielded much. (We’ll see Ron. We’ll see.)
About twenty times, Ron emphasizes that he does not know what is going to happen. *yawn*

He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to take his vacation… err ministry trip to New Zealand. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. An awful sermon, terribly so. I don't know if you'll be able to meet for the Feast. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron knows what is going on in member’s homes. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Member can’t agree at what fast food places to eat. Humble yourself and go where others want. Ron discusses Wendy’s versus Burger King. (What else would you expect from the Greatest Prophet eva?)

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed