Sunday, March 29, 2009

Spiritual Meat and Potatoes with Gravy

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
God’s Passover Pt 2 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1153 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 165
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Richmond, Virginia this week. Will Ron use his Two Witness powers?

Wayne and Doug Matthews are going to Europe with Ron for Theocratic Reasons. Ron will fly them there, but not with his Two Witness powers. They’ll meet with Ron in an upper room somewhere.

Oh goody, The Prophesied End Time can *yawn* be ordered off the website - Hurry, before its expiration date arrives! (Time is ticking down quickly on this one. It will soon be found only in used book section of thrift stores or propping up coffee tables with uneven legs.) Church member has cancer, Ron refuses to heal her.

Yummy, The Days of Unleavened Bread are coming. This will be followed by The Weekend of the Weinland Fruit Basket.

Will Ron comment on the Weinland Witness’ declaration that he is a false prophet? Me thinks, not. He doesn’t want to raise THAT issue in his followers minds especially in the thundering silence of non-thundering thunders. There is no better con man than the con man that believes what he says.

Ron instructs his flock on the way to roast a lamb. Boring…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. I don’t think unleavened bread sops up gravy very well. My eyelids are getting heavy.

Uh-oh, some are getting fed up with being referred back to the FAQ (LOL). Of course, not wanting to go to the FAQ shows a poor attitude (not to mention a prideful spirit) – one that God can’t work with and Ron can't stand. (Who are you to question Ron?) Incredible to understand….

They had to eat the lamb with their loins girded (fully-clothed), with their staffs (staves?) in their hands and their nikes on their feet. They had to stay up all night, too. Sounds like a recipe for indigestion to me. Good thing we have Krystal today. Ron can’t help but think of the churches (boring) past…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Sleepy, so sleepy.

Ron endorses Fire Proof, Curt Cameron's latest movie. Ron recommends listening to his sermons multiple times. That'll be the day.

Ron comments on the murmurring from last year. Will the ground open up AND SWALLOW DOUBTERS WITH PRIDEFUL ATTITUDES? Will Ron smite the wicked mightily? Wait til he hear's the murmurring when he changes his timeline again. I suspect it will be preceeded by a large Exodus and the slapping of many feet running out of COG-PKG with their hands on their wallets - fearful of funding Ron's (welcome) retirement from the ministry. (Oh, I'm going to Hell for that one.)

This blog will pass on the Passover.

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Ron Smacked Down Again By Citizen X

Citizen X
Hello Charity,

You said:

He admits that he (Ron) misunderstood the timing because of a belief that the Church of God had traditionally held that Christ would return on Triumpets

taking into consideration what God had revealed to him about 2008 being the year of a final witness, led Ron to a wrong conclusion that the 3 1/2 years began on April 14th 2008.

You speak of ‘beliefs’ and ‘conclusions’ when speaking of how Ronald Weinland arrived at his words.

That is not how God works through a prophet. He doesn’t just allow them to predict whatever they ‘believe’ will happen - he gives them a specific message with specific facts. It comes from God. Not the prophet. Not the prophet’s beliefs, or conclusions. Prophecy comes from God.

I’m actually rather surprised that you corrected me, only to say that Ronald Weinland prophesied something that was not of God. Why is he predicting a certain time when God has not given him that time? Why is he passing off his own understanding as if they are God’s words? A true prophet would never do that. The responsibility is simply too great.

A prophet knows the awesome responsibility he has, and how people will take his words very seriously. And yet, Ron Weinland, while declaring himself a prophet, stated his own opinions as if they were prophecy from God?

You also said:

“…the timeline was corrected…”

The timeline never should have had to be corrected. Never in biblical history have I heard of a true prophet of God throwing in some of his own opinions into the mix. Never. Elijah didn’t add his own flavor to the prophecies God gave him. Neither did Jeremiah. Or Jonah. They never deviated from the message God gave them.

“…The first trumpet did blow on Dec. 14th 2008…”

I have listened to Ron Weinland describe the characteristics of the First Trumpet many times. He repeatedly said it was a process that unfolded over 45-90 days. That’s it. 90 days from December 14th is March 14th. We have not seen the evidence of the First Trumpet. According to RW’s own description of the First Trumpet, he would be false. He said it was a process that unfolded over 45-90 days, and we have seen no evidence of that process. I have to declare him false.

“…Ron has not yet been given specifics about what happens as a result of it blowing…”

Yes, he has! He’s written it in his book, “2008 - Gods Final Witness”. He’s described the First Trumpet in detail. He’s talked about it in sermons, on radio shows. He’s repeatedly said it is a process that unfolds over 45-90 days. By those words that he himself has uttered, RW can be nothing else than a false prophet. There are no other possibilities, as much as I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He painted himself into this corner, but that’s what happens when you make a claim like that and utter such specific predictions.

If you say then that the actual nature and characteristics of the First Trumpet have changed, then that would mean RW’s original words describing it were false too. Do you see what kind of conundrums we are facing?

“…Please be sure that all your facts and understanding are correct before you conclude that though. There is much you could learn by listening to the sermons…”

Again, I have listened to the sermons. However, I have also listened to the entire breadth of the predictions RW has made. You are basically saying to me, “Yes, he said those things originally, but you need to hear the updated version…”

I’m not simply going to forget what he said. Words matter. You shouldn’t expect me to just forget the predictions he made and the prophecies he made. I hold him to those, just like you should. People of integrity should value their word, and right now it is looking very much like RW’s word has been quite devalued.

Taken from the Weinland Witness comment section.

Tick Tock

Dill Weed

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Weinland Witness: Ron is a FALSE PROPHET

The verdict is in. The Weinland Witness announced today that Ron Weinland is a FALSE PROPHET. But, we already knew that didn’t we?

Why is this significant? The Weinland Witness took an irritatingly patient and objective view of Ron sticking by the possibility he was a prophet when others knew he wasn’t. This was because he was not initmately familiar with Ron’s history like Mike of Don’t Drink The Flavor Aid.

A few Weinland supporters and some earnest truth seekers populated the comments section of the Weinland Witness. The verdict is particularly daming because the Weinland Witness was objective and unbiased.

Like the Weinland Witness, I believe the words of the bible will be fulfilled and long to see them so. This blog will continue to mock Ron Weinland because he deserves it.

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Monday, March 23, 2009

Verily, I say unto you, Ron Will Bore Thee

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
God’s Passover Pt 1 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1160 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 166
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Ron sounds congested. Even Two Witnesses get the sniffles. Oh goody, the Holy Days are coming. Ron has “internet problems” he refers to them as “struggles and battles.” This is of course evidence of persecution (by wicked spirits?) – not problems routinely experienced by computer and internet users.

Cult warning – Ron discourages his followers from interacting with others, especially on the internet. (Well, there are people out there dangerous to the beliefs that Ron espouses.)

Ron reminds his followers, especially the 144,000, that “Bad things are coming,” not The Great Tribulation though, that’s already over.

The Days of Unleavened Bread are coming (Whoopee!). Ah, The Feast of Crackers – not Saltines, but Manshevitz.

The church that was scattered, the scattered church, Blah, blah, blah, blah….

There’s no party like a Passover party. Poor little lamb chop. Remember lamb chop?

Very powerful like a beautiful painting. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Very exciting…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron’s not a fan of Pollock the guy who splattered paint across canvasses.

Biblical calendar talk – when will Ron readjust God’s calendar to postpone Christ’s return? First month is Abed…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron bores his listeners.

There’s nothing quite like the explanations of holy days…. About the only thing that can top it is measuring the temple or reading the begats – Jebediah begat Zeeglesnood. There was a Simpsons where Homer listened to Larry King read the bible. He fell asleep and drooled on his shirt.

Two Witnesses job doesn’t begin in earnest until Europe does what it going to do… *yawn*

I dozed off there for a while… and he’s still rambling… (sigh) He’s only a little over halfway done…

Ron reads his own press. Good. I hope he stops by.

Another Thundering Dud of a sermon – I think I’m getting used to them. They’re right in the neighborhood of JW assemblies. (Eye roll)

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Feast for Knuckleheads.

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
The God of All Eternity Pt 3 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1167 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 167
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

There can’t be a part four. There can’t be a part four….Oh please, let there not be a part 4. (I hope that works.)

Ron inoculates the church against the false hope of a stock market bottom. Ron rehashes old economic news… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. (Yeah, it worked. This will be the last of this series) So powerful…. (Eye roll)

Hebrews… Shebrews… I us’d them down. (Family Guy reference to when Peter becomes a Hasidic Jew.) Ron backslides into trinity talk…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Very inspiring…. *yawn*

Ron blows a fuse over the trinity and yells jarring his listeners – notably one. (Grrr. I admit he woke me up a little bit there.) Ron continues ranting… (I gradually fade out.) He gets so worked up over this, but wouldn’t one of the Two Witnesses? (Heh-heh)

A fifteenth Passover…. (Oh god, something I definitely don’t want to know anything about.) Ron keeps using the phrase “self existing.” That’s redundant and annoying.

Who’d have thunk that the Two Witnesses (well, one anyway) would give such boring sermons? (Huh.) 50 minutes and we’re not at the halfway point yet. (Sheesh)

Ron talks about ‘getting rid of the hot air.’ (Yeah, once a week) 1:00:53 almost halfway…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Very powerfully so… If you’re being drawn by God …. You’ll do what your told… by Ron. Word.

Twitterpated? Ron just coined a new word. A holy word, no doubt. What is a uniplural word anyway? (That’s rhetorical - don’t tell me I don’t want to know.)

Much ado about nothing.

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Ron Weinland, AC/DC, and Rage Against the Machine

Have you heard the Byrd is the word? – Peter Griffin, Family Guy

Ron went back on the Micheal McConnel show. Mike had the good taste to lead into the interview with old AC/DC song. (I used to be a big fan, but I can’t remember the song’s name. Hypocrite or lapsed fan – you decide. Either one’s better than being a false prophet.) Mike also used Rage Against the Machine’s - The Battle of Los Angeles as his second lead in – another good choice.

I wish Mike had better prepared himself. He could have really smacked Ron down. (Sigh, I guess we’ll have to wait for the clock to invalidate Ron or some health issue to come up with one of them. Wouldn’t that be a real kick in the prophetic balls?)

Ron said that “people really want to nail him to the wall.” No Ron, they want you to: Put up or shut up. Unfortunately, Ron did neither.

Ron’s holding to his (prophecy?) prediction that nuclear weapons will be detonated in the US in a year or so depending on whether or not *yawn* we all humble ourselves or get humbled by the current economic crisis and repent seeking out God’s Final Witnesses, spokesman Ron and silent (cheese)sidekick, Laura. I really don’t see that happening.

Ron said the ecomonic system is collapsing and that it will not recover. Mike pointed out that he was still working and so were 92% of Americans. This was a funny moment in the interview as Ron scrambled for prophetic cover by retreating into economic fatalism. Ron’s answers were vague. (Surprise!) Mike probably had as much of a chance of nailing Ron to the wall as he would have nailing jello to the same wall. A little more preparation would have helped though.

Even if Ron were flushed from the bushes with laser targeted questions the kind his ‘mockers’ raise, he would still retreat into vaguery, biblical obfuscation and prophetic delay and evasion, or Ron's ace in the hole, spiritualization. The only thing that will put the lie to Ron and Laura is time and more unfulfilled ‘prophecies’. Ron’s going to have a lot more explaining to do as more Sabbaths tick by – all duly chronicled here.

The more Ron says the deeper he digs his hole. I think it is so funny that he believes he is God’s prophet and even more so that he thinks he and his wife are The Two Witnesses of Revelation. I just get a good chuckle from that every time I think about it.

As Ron’s prophetic events continue to delay (not happen), Ron’s going to have to keep changing his story. The thing I find interesting here is that Ron keeps being confronted by the failure of his predictions to materialize. Ron is faced with continuous evidence that he is not God’s prophet much less one of the Two Witnesses.

When will it begin to dawn on Ron that God is not backing him up and that he is not a prophet? This will be a difficult moment. Ron's delusion will be challenged. He’ll face some difficult choices that will sorely test his and his followers faith. If he maintains his claim to prophethood, he’ll may claim God is granting mankind a reprieve on Armageddon (because of Ron's great faithfulness or some unobservable repentance?). He’s already kind of doing this with claimed results of of January's two day fast. If he tries to explain further delays, pitchers of Kool Aid may not be far off.

A second route is less tenable: Biblical recalculation. This would undermine his credibility so much he’d be forced onto the tent revival circuit. I doubt Laura would go for that as she’s gotten used to world travel and nice accomodations. Ministering to the ignorant southern masses in sweaty, uncooled tents won’t sit well with her- even if the Harrell’s have to do it too. She’ll hang up on that call from God and probably divorce Ron and take him for half of his tithed worth, if the IRS doesn’t get it first.

Tick Tock. Your time is running short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

Monday, March 9, 2009

God Gives Ron a Real Whopper: The Great Tribulation is Over.

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
The God of All Eternity Pt 2 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1174 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 168
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

And Ron buries it in a dead horse of a sermon…

The eternal sermon? Maybe it only just seems like it. A new interview with Mike McConnell, I’ll have to check it out. Ron did not use any of his Two Witness powers to set things straight or give a witness. Two new postings on the website. (Ron must have been bored.) Ron comments on his difficulties posting sermons. Two Witness powers don’t cover that.

Ron beats a dead horse attacking the trinity. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

3 for one and three for two… 3 Musketeers. (I had faded out… but this pulled me back in, I’m fading again…) Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Very powerful… (boring). Ron avoids prophesying so…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Not a subject covered more thoroughly than this…. (Why talk about it then?) Sermon filler. Filler sermon. Vehicle for a revelation.

Ron backtracks to explain his ‘there is no Great Tribulation’ statement. Oh, here we go… The Great Tribulation is ‘spiritual’ and applies to the church. The Great Tribulation has NOTHING to do with the last 3 ½ years. Too friggin’ good. The nugget of crap I was waiting for.

Ron rails loudly after this…. Prehaps to stop people from questioning. What about ‘if that time wasn’t cut short none would survive’? The Great Tribulation was the revolt that occurred after HWA died. The Great Tribulation is already over.

Ron is reaching here… describing their Great Tribulation… no more suffering on your jobs over holy days, this ‘tribulation’ will be lifted. No more suffering because of persecution (mocking and disbelief, really) from family or community members. (What?! That’s no tribulation. Nobody cares what PKCG members believe. Give me a friggin’ break! It’s pretty hard to build a persecution complex from just that. LOL

Ron changes the meaning of scripture. No man could count the number coming out of the Great Tribulation… This doesn’t apply to the last 3 ½ years.

The Great Tribulation won’t be the last tribulation. The stench of this is unbelieveable.

There are false prophets amoung the church, Ron. There certainly are.

Ron announces that he 'got word from God' that because of their two day fast that God is going to save 10% of a third, but they may not accept it. *yawn*

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Tick Tock.

Dill Weed

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Prophet Ron: And the Word… was not Jesus

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
The God of All Eternity Pt 1 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1181 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 169
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Lubbock, Texas this week (Verily I say to you, a place worth flying over.) Ron will probably need another cruise after visiting such a desolate place – see Don’t Drink the Flavor Aid. Ron bores his audience with his itinerary. (Provided Ron’s Great Tribulation still delays.) Ron mentions having two services in one day then dismisses the idea. (Shew)

The 7th Thunder… (The growing revelation of God to man.) Ron marvels at how many scriptures he’s used to cover this topic. (Twisting all of them until he has forearms like Popeye.) All previous evangelists have been cut off – so we’re stuck with... Prophet and Spokesman Witness, Ron. Ron attacks Rod Meredith (LCG) and an article entitled, "Who was the God of the New Testament?" in the magazine, Tomorrow’s World. Ron attacks Rod Meredith, but claims there’s no joy in it for him. (Must be all that humility.) Blah, blah, blah, blah….

You can’t understand the ‘truth’ until God gives it to you – through Ron, of course. *Yawn* Ron sighs under the burden of ‘truth’ that he carries. He’s not going to correct all of Rod’s errors. Ron reveals that…. Jesus did not co-exist with God for all eternity. *Yawn* Rod is blind… good thing God has given Ron the “truth.” Ron gets dumbfounded. (You knew it was coming!) Blah, blah, blah, blah….

To make a long, boring sermon short (if only)… the word was with God, but was not Jesus. (Whatever.) Ron rails and rails and I can’t find it in myself to care…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. There’s nothing like splitting theocratic hairs… COG or otherwise. Tempest in a tea pot, Ron spouts off. The take away message… Ron is the Fountain of Truth and you can't understand the Truth or handle it without Prophet and Witness, Ron. (Big whoop.) Ron marvels…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron avoids prophesying like it was a real plague, not the kind he casts upon sinful, unrepentant, prideful mankind, especially his mockers or people who just don’t believe him, namely his mightily boring sermons. (Sigh.)

Awesomely boring to understand... So powerfully boring... Megarifically boring... Ron smote the earth with a plague of boredom spread by the internet. I can't wait to delete this crappy sermon.

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed