Sunday, March 6, 2011

Ron Weinland's Impotent Prayers


A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
Pray for Judgment Pt 3 (Summary)
Countdown: 459 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 59
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
Ron’s Death Toll: 0


False prophet Ronald Weinland was in Richmond, VA this Sabbath. Ron has been praying for an increase in the Thunders for several weeks now and has implored his followers to pray steadfastly too. Ron has used his hysterical yelling voice, the one he uses for its “all about family!”, to condemn the poor Easter bunny, the bringer of all things evil.

We are watching Ron calling on his un-answering God, the way The Real Elijah watched Baal’s priests call upon him to devour the altar they had built. We all know how that turned out.

Could God’s punishment be to leave Ron in the lurch to fail before all? Below some who believe Armageddon is coming sooner than later.

Cool video of the week

Tick Tock.

The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well... 454 days and 65 Sabbaths remain.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed

6 comments:

Douglas Becker said...

God's revenge against the Six Pack Prophet (and Six Pack does NOT refer to his abs) apparently is to ignore him.

Are there any bloody scars forming from his beating himself with whips to get the attention of his god? Perhaps his god is sleeping or gone on vacation. Or maybe he's watching the cooking channel. Perhaps yelling loudly will help. Or maybe more contributions to bribe his god will help.

No punishment could be worse than his god ignoring him, we think.

Anonymous said...

He has (or had?) the same God as us, just a misguided understanding of how God works and while once he may have heard some revelation (?) his self righteous importance has clouded it. Remember that there are those that love God who lack faith and those that love God who excel in faith. You can be in God and in error too.

Maybe God abandoned him after his pride got in the way. There are countless examples of that in the Bible. After all, any young Christian with a spiritual connection with God rather than a head one, could ascertain the end is coming soon.

A standard 'punishment' (resulting circumstance) for stepping beyond the boundaries and allowing pride to seep in is to allow the enemy to infiltrate and cloud his mind, after all Ron opened the doors to Satan who now has the right to mess with him as he is and will because it will all discredit God when a 'prophet' is wrong, and he can destroy those that hang to him when they realize God is not in it.

Surely, any of his followers who read the Bible for themselves will find it hard to reconcile their spirits to praying for an increase in thunders when Gods word says he already has the timing sorted out.

Baywolfe said...

Anon, don't be so generous with your use of the word "us". I make no claim to his god or yours.

Dill, when the time passes on Kirrily's guess, I'm declaring myself winner of the contest.

Ultimately, my money is on Ron "pulling an Armstrong" except he'll probably move to a country with no extradition treaty with the US instead of Arizona.

He'll turn it over to one of the elders, continue to tape lunatic sermons, and expect his XX% cut of the loot to be direct deposited in his account in the Cayman Islands.

Anonymous said...

Baywolfe. When did 'us' mean you? When did we refer to your claim of any description?
Why even mention it, or are you alos so easily offended?

Baywolfe said...

Anon,

I could easily ask you the same question, who do you mean by "us"?

Anonymous said...

'us' and in not you? Man your paranoid.