Sunday, May 29, 2011

Cat Falls on Local Man

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
Fulfillment in Joshua (Summary)
Countdown: 375 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 47
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

News Flash: A local man was knocked unconscious today when his overweight cat fell on him. Witnesses said the cat didn’t land on his feet, but instead landed on its side... on the man’s chest causing him to make a great ‘OOOfffing’ sound as the air rushed out of his chest.

A local firefighter resuscitated the man. The cat non-chalantly walked away as if nothing happened and was later seen cleaning out his dinner bowl. The man later admitted, “He had gone out too far on that limb because of that darned cat.” Meanwhile, False prophet Ronald Weinland delivered another epically boring sermon from Dallas, TX and many yawned.

Summary: Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Joshua … Blabbity blah blah blah.. They can’t understand… blah blah blah…

Cutest video on the web...

Cool video of the week

Tick Tock.

The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well... 368 days and 53 Sabbaths remain.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So this is more about cats that Ronnie now?

Can't you elaborate a little?

Dill Weed said...

Dillweed, Jr and me lost our bet in Dillweed's Great End of the End contest (to the right on the page) where we bet Weinland would have admittedhe is a false prophet by 5/27/11... and as for cats its because of Jr. and forless Ronnie I just listen for things pertinent to prophecy

Dill Weed

Douglas Becker said...

Cats are cool. Ronnie is not.

In fact, I'd bet that Rotten Ronnie hates cats. He can't tolerate anyone who is the least independent.

Anonymous said...

Probably a spin off from Ronnies over religiousness because the Bible doesn't mention cats at all.

David said...

Rev 11:3 And I will appoint my two witnesses, and they will prophesy for 1,260 days, clothed in sackcloth.
4 They are “the two olive trees” and the two lampstands, and “they stand before the Lord of the earth.”
5 If anyone tries to harm them, fire comes from their mouths and devours their enemies. This is how anyone who wants to harm them must die.
6 They have power to shut up the heavens so that it will not rain during the time they are prophesying; and they have power to turn the waters into blood and to strike the earth with every kind of plague as often as they want.
7 Now when they have finished their testimony, the beast that comes up from the Abyss will attack them, and overpower and kill them.
8 Their bodies will lie in the public square of the great city—which is figuratively called Sodom and Egypt—where also their Lord was crucified.
9 For three and a half days some from every people, tribe, language and nation will gaze on their bodies and refuse them burial.
10 The inhabitants of the earth will gloat over them and will celebrate by sending each other gifts, because these two prophets had tormented those who live on the earth.

Believe it or not this is supposed to be Gods word on Ron and his wife (according to Ron)

Come on Ronnie, compared these guys God talks about your like a dead mole some 3 miles under the earth, it's time to reveal yourself or just shut up!