The Unwilling Prophet

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
Our Commission Pt 1 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1202 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 172
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
2/6/09 and Still No 2nd Trumpet (No Trombone, either.)

Our Commission, couldn’t be preaching could it? Nah. What do you think? Keep those tithes a coming though. God has to lead people to Ron, he doesn’t have to go looking for them.

Ron makes traveling plans… boring… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Holy days… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Passover, Feast of Tabernacles, and the Feast of Knuckleheads. (Sounds joyous)

Australia’s having a drought, fires and floods – all not caused by Ron. Humility’s first appearance. Ron harps on the non-thundering Thunders sounding on economic problems and drought in China. More humbling….

Ron addresses questions posed by new members… (Get the drift?) People notice Ron’s errors- all explained, of course, by the (yawn) 50th Truth. Ron explains he’s being fully open… (Hmmph) …. And emphasizes that they are the only true church (Ever heard that before?)

I can’t wait until he has to alter the timeline, again. God leads the church through Ron (Eye roll) – because all that He has given Ron. (All the false prophecies and failed predictions? What god could that be?) Ron acknowledges that he made predictions as a prophet and they didn’t happen. (They should be rushing for the friggin’ doors.) New suckers…. Members coming in (as people do during ‘difficult times.’)

Ron’s errors in no way dimnish his role as God’s prophet. (And, I’m Tom Brady.) Oh here we go… Ron’s failed prophecies are God’s way of testing believers. (LOL, face palm) Ron reassures members that all the prophecies will take place as ‘prophesied’ but just when Ron doesn’t know. Ron dances around the (maypole) timeline. Ron prophecies there will be no economic recovery. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Ron addresses an unbeliever who left and posed the question, How would Ron answer those radio interviewers regarding his failed prophecies. Ron claims no one has called him back. (Hmmm) Ron claims that people can’t handle the truth and says he would take the interviews. Ron claims he’ll be on radio and TV when things get ‘stirred up.’ Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Oprah, Ron, Oprah. How long till Ron is dumbfounded by something?

Here we go… scriptures about false prophets. (Ron is dumbfounded by the evil out there – the evil of people who doubt him.) How will he play this? Ron claims people ‘read into scripture’ and then diverges into COG history…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. So far failing to confront the issue directly. How will Ron seek to change scripture? Ron explains that one scripture applies to prophets who performed signs and wonders and said, “Let us go after other gods.” Ron is in the clear because he hasn’t shown any signs or wonders. (Ha!)

What about prophesying and being wrong? Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Lots of COG underbrush in this argument…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron blasts former pastors for their beliefs… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. More God ‘trying us like back in April….’ God is sifting the congregation…. Ron waxes on Armstrong…. Progressive understanding… that allows for changes… (I've heard this before – new light, tacking.) Ron rambles endlessly…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

He hasn’t confronted directly the issue of prophesying falsely. Here we go… if a thing a prophet's prophesies don't come to pass…. Ron maintains that the things he said will come to pass, but just not when he thought (said) they would… (So he can still claim to not have been wrong.) Just because the timing is off… doesn’t diminish Ron’s role as God’s prophet. (What a relief.) Ron parses words… “I stated I believe…. (Does not amount to prophesy.) Weasel.

Ron’s delusion is strong.

I can’t wait until he has to change the timeline again. Can he do that and still maintain his claim to being one of the Two Witnesses? Will there be a falling away? Will God be 'testing believers'? Will there be a 51st Truth?

Ron proclaims himself an unwilling prophet. (Must be because of all that humility.) I guess God drafted him. (Whatever.)

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.
Dill Weed