Sunday, February 1, 2009

Ron Rejoices at the Slaying of the False Prophets of Baal.

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
A Great Fast (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1209 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 173
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
1/31/09 and Still No 2nd Trumpet (Well, whadda you know?)
Woe to you, Ronald Weinland for you claim a station you have not been given. Woe to you, Ronald Weinland for you prophesy falsely in the name of God.

Fast talk. People just don’t understand! (Cause most people don’t listen to RW?) The world (still) has no idea that the Great Tribulation has begun. Ron thanks God that people aren’t suffering yet. (Face palm) 173 Sabbaths until Christ returns. (Is Christ on Ron’s time table?) More fast talk. It’s important. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. I wonder how much more has God given Ron?

How does one fast spiritually anyway? (By not listening to Ron’s sermons.) That’s awesome to understand. How long until Ron’s humility fetish kicks in? You know it’s coming accompanied by jarring ill timed increases in volume. Shades of it. (Shudders)

Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Oh, here we go Ron’s talking about pride the flip side of his humility fetish. Heads Ron wins, tails you lose. (Ugh) Ron’s mouth is dry. (Brightens, maybe a shorter sermon? Please, please, please!) Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Maybe Ron should try a pebble in his mouth. Ron exchanged some emails with a member who had a question. (Yes!) That person got wise and bailed! (Yippee!)

Ron is dumbfounded by people who would find fault with Mr. Armstrong’s financial dealings. (Hmmm. Grrr)

Ron reflects on his former meager financial circumstances compared to now. (Tithes will do that for you.) Ron defends his financial position stating he could have even more. (Dip deeper into the tithes? Grrr)

Ron is dumbfounded by King Ahab’s worshipping Baal. ( A stiff necked and stubborn people , remember?)

Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Elijah stops the dew and rain. (When will Ron? Hmmm, have his Two Witness powers kicked in yet?) Blah, blah, blah, blah….
Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Awesome to understand… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Obadiah, Jebidiah… Blah, blah, blah, blah….Ron is dumbfounded by the growth of the church and claims 20,000 members. Says more are coming in from ‘the world’, but gives no numbers. He claims millions will come into the church because things will get “stirred up.”

Here we go: Ron reflects on his changed predictions and timeline refers specifically to the radio interviews and people saying “you’re no prophet”, but claims it is not his fault and that he is still God’s prophet. (2 face palms, LOL)

Ron recalls Elijah’s dealings with the false prophets of Baal and his vindication as God’s prophet. (I wonder if Ron gets the irony.) Is Elijah’s God the same as Ron’s? Will God verify Ron Weinland as His prophet? If He doesn’t will Ron admit he is a false prophet? What will this do to him psychologically? Ron promises he will be dumbfounded again and so will his followers. (Oh boy!) Ron claims his failed predictions were put into his mind by God. (Ron, why did they fail then?) Ron rejoices at the slaying of the false prophets of Baal.

Pray for louder thunders…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….

The revealing of the Thunders will validate Ron as God’s prophet whom he is working through. (That’s God’s plan of course, He told Ron in his mind.) More humility…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. The timing of the Thunders is to be revealed through His prophet, Ron, in God’s Final Witness. (It has been thoroughly discredited here Don’t Drink the Flavor Aid.)

Ron claims he’s never seen earthquakes like he has seen today (1st Thunder). The U.S. Geological Service sees things differently though and they track earthquakes around the world here USGS and here Are earthquakes increasing?

It’s not Global Warming, its Ron’s 2nd Thunder (Weather)

The 4th Thunder is Global Economic upheaval. The Dow is barely at 8000 and Ron asks members to pray for things to get worse. Ron celebrates the bad times.

The 5th Thunder is Death, first within the church, referring to former members he cursed to die. He talks about some ministers who were murdered, but is not specific. The ones Ron cursed he cursed to die slowly from within, but not from murder. (No dice, Ron.)

Death in the world from plagues will increase mightily.

The 6th Thunder is the growing awareness of Ron (and Laura) as God’s Witnesses through the ever increasing (never decreasing) Thunders.

The 7th Thunder is the growing revelation of God to man.

Ron boohoos about writing about the Thunders. It was hard. (Mmmh) Here’s a real kicker: Ron says about those teaching false doctrine – it is better that they should die. (Hmm) Many would be happy if they just admitted it and stopped – forever. He says that people object to his predictions because they are ‘harsh and unjust and undeserved’. In reality, people don't object to his predictions they just point out that they are wrong.

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

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