Saturday, December 17, 2011

Ronald Weinland: I am the Last Type of Elijah

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
The Meaning of Elijah (Summary)
Countdown: 170 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 21
Fulfilled Prophecies: 1
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

False prophet and Spokesman Witness Ronald Weinland spoke from Las Vegas, NV this Sabbath. He reasserted his title of the Elijah (*yawn*) to come. He mentioned the names of a bunch of suckers… err new associate elders who are being prepared for the great influx of new believers.

God has been pretty specific to Ron so wouldn’t it be a disappointment when Jesus no shows? Ron sounded nervous, but still managed to bore me. Maybe, Ron will end up being the last tax collector also.

Cool video

Tick Tock.

The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well...180 days and 26 Sabbaths remain.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed


Douglas Becker said...

Just how many types of Elijah can there be?

My fave Elijah is the one who gathered the 850 false prophets together and challenged them to call fire down from heaven, and when they failed to do so, he called down fire from heaven and, as a gratuitous afterthough, slaughtered the false prophets.



I want that Elijah to come.

Let's see now... there must 850 Armstrongist "prophets" we could gather....

DennisCDiehl said...

"Ron sounded nervous."

That's exactly right and what came out loud and clear. As he was leading up to his punch line of "I am the third and last type of Elijah," you could hear the tension in his voice as if, "and please don't think I'm nuts," was his next thought

DennisCDiehl said...

Douglas, the story only indicates that the 450 male prophets of Baal died and the 400 female ones weren't killed.

It was a pissing contest between YHVH and Baal over the women!

Douglas Becker said...

Dennis, you are correct about I Kings 18 that the 450 prophets of Baal were men. Surprisingly, the prophets of the grove -- those who ate from Jezebel's table, may not have been murdered, nevertheless, the citation does not say they were not.

It is also not mentioned that the prophets of the groves (priests of Asherah, Astarte, or Venus) were female and the commentaries don't seem to mention whether they were male or female.

It seems unlikely to me that Jezebel would have been so ticked if only the prophets of Baal were killed off. That was Ahab's thing. I would think that the thing that would really hack her off as she was, would be the killing of the priests of her devotion. Maybe. Maybe not.

So I may have to be satisfied with a modern regeneration of Elijah only killing off 450 Armstrongist "priests" then.


I had such hopes.

Dill Weed said...

Hug a cat today!

Dill Weed

Douglas Becker said...

Hug a cat today!



That makes five times today.

Mikey has had enough hugs for today!

For anyone who might be concerned (as though anyone might be), Mikey is busy on new projects and will be back on Christmas Day.

Anonymous said...

Third type of Elijah. The one who inpower did miracles or with the frame of mind that made him hide from a woman in a cave?