Saturday, April 18, 2009
The Feast of Crackers (Not Graham)
A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
In Awe of God Pt 1 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1132 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 162
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
May 1st this blog will have a new URL: http://ronaldweinlandtheprophetwhofailed.blogspot.com/
Nah, it’s not because Ron cursed the old one.
Ron chimes in from Erie, PA, where he connects with some bad memories. He’s glad to see a new group of people – wouldn’t want to end up in a crowd of disgruntled former believers -even with Two Witness powers.
Ron has been invited to speak at some sort of gathering where he will be "the only religious speaker.” (Huh, imagine that.) It’s a forum on idealism. (Hmmm) Only costs $4000 to attend – not to speak. Sounds like a bologna conference to me. I bet Ron chops them off a big slice, too. No notes are allowed. (Uh-oh) All speaking is to be contemporaneous. (Chuckles) Sounds like a speculative, dreamer’s conference. The only good thing: You get gonged if you go over twenty minutes. Ron won’t even be warmed up by then!
Feast of Knuckleheads arrangements. Huddle in your basement for four days, your neighbor’s if you don’t have one. (Eat not beans for goodness sake. Spare thy brothers and sisters.)
Will Ron break off some new prophecy? Revise some old prophecy? (I can hardly stand the tension!)
Oh, here we go… Gee and gee-wiz (Jesus wizard) is using God’s name in vain. (Eye Roll) Ron rails against movie ratings. He bangs his fist on podium and gets uncomfortably loud. (Sigh) Face palm.
Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron has indigestion… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. He shouldn’t get so angry. There’s no telling what he’ll do with those Two Witness powers!
Here we go…. Some who are new and some old are not responding properly to God. (Ron doesn’t elaborate.) Something about the Sabbath… Blah, blah, blah, blah….
People should be afraid to speak against the church and God’s prophet. So many with websites out there. They are bitter and have an axe to grind because they were put out! Ron gets dumbfounded. (Surprise)
Dill Weed was not pulled out of COG (of any type) much less COG-PKG. I am not bitter. I just happen to enjoy mocking Ron. As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing wrong with that. I think I’m good at it, too.
The 2nd Trumpet is going to blow in God’s time…. (Maybe he’ll share when with Ron- like the 1st Trumpet.) *Yawn*
Wander 40 years in the wilderness… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. America has to be invaded, has to be conquered. The dollar has to become like toilet paper. (Lo, and Ron wiped with it and found it to his liking.)
Ron complains that people aren’t giving God his tithes…. (Maybe that's what he was referring to) Hundreds of thousands are being primed by God to join COG-PKG (better remember their tithes)… the scattered church… Blah, blah, blah, blah….
Covet not thy neighbor’s ass…. Blah, blah, blah, blah….
Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.