Monday, April 23, 2012

Ronald Weinland: The Bible Means What I Say it Means.

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
God’s Witness (Summary
Countdown: 32 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 4
Fulfilled Prophecies: 1
Failed Prophecies: Priceless
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

False prophet and Spokesman Witness Ronald Weinland spoke from Australia this Sabbath.

The Current Truth, Past Truth Game.

The Two Witnesses of Revelation are not going to be killed in the streets of Jerusalem.

Dang! Junior and I had already bought each other gifts and now we’re not going to be able to celebrate with the rest of the world because the bible doesn’t mean what it says. It means what Ronald Weinland says.

FFFFFFTTTT!

Whoa there Junior, you’ll still get that crate of tuna! Stop scratching my leg! You don't want to end up...well.

What else doesn’t the bible mean? Well, hell, just ask Ronald Weinland because God speaks into his mind. Good thing, Ron's brother, Jesus, also a whisperer into Ron's mind, is Returning May 27th after the Great Tribulation, Armageddon and all that other Revelation stuff – like the Seven Vials of God’s anger.
Ron is using old faithful - the reliable explainer for failed prophecy. New light, as Jehovah’s Witnesses put it. Current truth, past truth as Weinland puts it.

It allows you to change what you said the bible meant yesterday and even any prophecies you may have made in God's name to something more convenient today. (Yeah! Or should I say, Yahweh!) After all, where are you going to go for God’s truth? God give His Truth through me. You can only understand it IF God allows you to understand it.

You must rely on me to understand God’s truth. Don’t forget to send in 10% on your income so God will continue to allow you to understand His truth which I will faithfully deliver - like I did 3 ½ years ago when I wrote, under God’s inspiration, GFW – 2008.

I revealed God’s perfect plan. God told me that the Two Witnesses would die in the streets of Jerusalem and everyone would see it on TV. I prophesied that and the Seven Thunders and blah blah blah - like the deaths of my former colleagues - all would happen exactly as revealed to me by God proving I'm His End-Time prophet, Spokeman Witness, blah blah blah.

They haven’t happened yet, but they will. You betcha! Those old codgers can’t live forever.

I’ve been avoiding the non-fulfillment of my (Elohim's) prophecies by talking about the past – you know old boring scriptures that have already been talked to death and find some exciting new meaning in some obscure word no one cares about. Oh, I just get so excited and God does, too! It’s incredible to understand, amazing, dumbfounding. You are blessed to be reliant on me and my silent, but helpful wife for the Truth.

I hope you will forget about all those things the Two Witnesses were supposed to do- eating beans and farting flames -all spiritual anyway. And all that stuff Christ is supposed to do when He returns – spiritual, too. All that Revelation stuff – the destruction, Vials, Bowls and all that jazz – spiritual too. What a relief, eh?

God's not pissed at all. Neither is Jesus. They were just joshing. I bet they even forgot my flight from Toronoto when the bad man blasphemed Jesus. I didn't have my Two Witness powers back then you see so I had to run. It's different now though. I have the power. Don’t forget to write that check! Or God will get angry and I can only hold Him off so long! Hurry!

PS. I am not a false prophet.
TICK TOCK


The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well...32 days and 4 Sabbaths remain.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.

Dill Weed

7 comments:

Eric said...

From Ron's 1260 DAYS (originally posted December 13, 2008)posting.

This is a very sobering time for my wife and me as we are in the city that God prophetically describes as Sodom (spiritually). We are in a hotel room a block away from where we can look down upon one of the higher points of the old city and specifically at the Jaffa Gate. It is IN THIS AREA where the two witnesses will be KILLED and three and one-half Days later, Jesus Christ will begin His return to this earth as King of kings.

That's what you said. Ron. It was a prophetic announcement at the "it has started" part of your ministry where you laid out as a prophet what would occur.

I bet Israel wouldn't let him in so he has had to go to plan B.

Douglas Becker said...

That poor big kitty! At nearly forty pounds, it is just for terrible for that cat. Someone should be convicted of cat abuse.

Fortunately, Mikey is well taken care of and doesn't have any "abandonment" issues or frustrations which would make him gain weight. I've worked with him and he's lost about 5 pounds after I got him. He was just too heavy. He's healthier and happier now.

I hope Dillweed Jr. doesn't gain weight.

It's bad; really bad.

Oh, wait!

Who's Ronald Weinland again?

Chacha said...

Some delusional fool with short-man syndrome

Chacha said...

Some delusional fool with short-man syndrome

Douglas Becker said...

Short timer syndrome, perhaps?

You know how it is when people reach the end of their career: They just start doing and saying crazy stuff.

And if anyone has reached the end of their career, it's Ronald Weinland.

brent said...

Man your anger at PKG almost overflows doesn't it?

Do you still need some councelling?

Anonymous said...

Aside from Ronnie, who is a fruitvcake (by his fruit) the word says God uses people to reveal his word.

So my question to you is how do you hear God? And if you say directly then you are disobeying God by not teaching others instead of discrediting one who most can easily see if a fraud.

A Christians job is to save the lost, not to disprove someone else who says they are close to God.