Monday, March 23, 2009

Verily, I say unto you, Ron Will Bore Thee

A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
God’s Passover Pt 1 (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1160 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 166
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0

Ron sounds congested. Even Two Witnesses get the sniffles. Oh goody, the Holy Days are coming. Ron has “internet problems” he refers to them as “struggles and battles.” This is of course evidence of persecution (by wicked spirits?) – not problems routinely experienced by computer and internet users.

Cult warning – Ron discourages his followers from interacting with others, especially on the internet. (Well, there are people out there dangerous to the beliefs that Ron espouses.)

Ron reminds his followers, especially the 144,000, that “Bad things are coming,” not The Great Tribulation though, that’s already over.

The Days of Unleavened Bread are coming (Whoopee!). Ah, The Feast of Crackers – not Saltines, but Manshevitz.

The church that was scattered, the scattered church, Blah, blah, blah, blah….

There’s no party like a Passover party. Poor little lamb chop. Remember lamb chop?

Very powerful like a beautiful painting. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Very exciting…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron’s not a fan of Pollock the guy who splattered paint across canvasses.

Biblical calendar talk – when will Ron readjust God’s calendar to postpone Christ’s return? First month is Abed…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron bores his listeners.

There’s nothing quite like the explanations of holy days…. About the only thing that can top it is measuring the temple or reading the begats – Jebediah begat Zeeglesnood. There was a Simpsons where Homer listened to Larry King read the bible. He fell asleep and drooled on his shirt.

Two Witnesses job doesn’t begin in earnest until Europe does what it going to do… *yawn*

I dozed off there for a while… and he’s still rambling… (sigh) He’s only a little over halfway done…

Ron reads his own press. Good. I hope he stops by.

Another Thundering Dud of a sermon – I think I’m getting used to them. They’re right in the neighborhood of JW assemblies. (Eye roll)

Tick Tock. Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

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