Saturday, May 30, 2009

Ronald Weinland’s Prostrate…


A Prophet’s Log (Flushing Sound)
Revelation of Pentecost (Sermon Summary)
Countdown: 1090 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 156
Number of Fulfilled Prophecies: 0


Ronald Weinland’s Prostrate… in Cincinnati for a boring Pentecost sermon and 'celebration'. *Yawn*

Will Ron announce he has received Two Witness powers? It would be timely wouldn’t it?

Ron heard some kind of negative comment about his Idea City appearance and takes exception to it because “people make foolish comments because it is God’s work.” If God has a purpose, by allowing Ron to appear at Idea City everyone should be 100% behind it. He chastises his critic for criticizing God’s prophet. (GIMME A FRIGGIN’ BREAK! AGGGHH!)

New understanding will be in this sermon because of ‘things that have happened’ namely the failure of Ron’s prophecies to materialize. (Maybe a 51st Truth?) Ron talks scripture… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Bring in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves. First fruits, second fruits, fruits of the loom. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron prattles on and on…. Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Sheep this, Sabbath that… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

God has ‘given it to Ron that he should be in Toronto to eat lunch with people.” (Whatever) Maybe, he’ll receive Two Witness powers there? Don't choke on an olive, Ron.

Oh, here we go a second mention about comments that Ron would go and eat with some gentiles on a Sabbath. (GASP!) There is no room for dissent(ers) in Ron’s church. They’re counting down every day. (You right about that, Ron.) Ron’s expecting Christ’s return three years from today! (Heh, heh, heh)

Ron links the Feast of Trumpets to the Trumpets of Revelation, but does not get specific. (Surprise!) Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Ron says he is the Last of the First Fruits. I think he is the Fruitiest of all the Fruits. Ron are your Fruit of the Looms too tight?


Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland.

Dill Weed

14 comments:

Richard said...

Ron says he is the Last of the First FruitsSo is he saying no one else will be saved? That no one else will come to COG-PKG from now on? Please tell us more. (Assuming he said more.)

Dill Weed said...

Nah, there's the first fruits 144,000 plus Ron and Laura, AKA the first harvest. Next, the last harvest, the Great Crowd which no man is able to number (Ron's converts) coming out of the Great Tribulation with their robes washed clean.

Dill Weed

There may be a little JW in there.

jack635 said...

Ron is self centered. Everything is about him and his church. He is a prophet. His wife is a witness of Revelation. His church is the only true church. His bank account needs more money.

jack635 said...

I'd like to spend 30 grand a month. Spending thirty thousand dollars every month would be fun. I would be able to do a lot of good with that much money.

I wonder how much Ron gives to the widow and the fatherless each month. I can't come up with a number.

Gazbom said...

Hi Dill,
He is not exactly dressed in sack cloth is he?

jack635 said...

Every time I see Rev Lovejoy I think of the time he was pouring gasoline throughout the church and saying "Never thought I'd have to do this again."

Rev Lovejoy is a good choice of pic-- it represents the hypocrisy of Ron.

Dill Weed said...

I love the older Simpsons. Just great entertainment.

Dill Weed

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