Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Beginning of the Beginning of The End From the Beginning of The End.

So what Ronald Weinland? So what?

A Prophet’s Log (Flush)
The Way of Peace Pt. 2 (Summary)
Countdown: 662 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 88
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0
Ron’s Death Toll: 0

False prophet Ronald Weinland spoke from Orlando, FL this Sabbath. Summary: Mr. Armstrong… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Mr. Armstrong… Blah, blah, blah, blah…. Healing in the mind… Blah, blah, blah, blah….

Now for some good stuff!

The time has come ladies gentlemen for Dill Weed’s Great End of The End contest! Each reader can guess the date that Ron will deny Christ’s May 27th 2012 arrival. (Gasp!) Yes, indeed it’s time for you to put it all on the line in this exciting contest where you guess the date of the implosion of Ron’s ministry.

Dill Weed, how can we play and what are the rules?

To enter Dill Weed's Great End of The End contest all you need to do is guess the date that Ron denies Christ by admitting He won’t return May 27th, 2012… without going over! (Price is Right rules apply - sorry, I didn't get the date right the first time.) I must not be listening too closely.

Dill Weed, what will I win?

The winner will receive the undying admiration and adulation of their fellow contestants which may be expressed through comments like, “Pfffftt, that was my first guess!” or “That was a dang lucky guess - that’s what I was going to say!”

All contestants will admit your mightiness in declaring The End of The End and predictin’ and a prognosticatin’ the implosion of Ron’s false ministry! (We'll be green with envy!)  (ministry which may continue in the basements of burned out and abandoned 7-11’s in the Cleveland area.) We’ll forego the ticker tape parade in NY and simply acknowledge that

YOU ARE GREAT!

I’ll kick things off – after some tail pulling, a few scratches, some bandages and the ransoming of a carton (That’s right a CARTON of tuna) Dill Weed, Jr. and me came up with our guess which is… drum roll…. Ron abandons the time line by May 27th, 2011. We’re in. Now, it’s your turn! (I changed my prediction date to May 27th from May 12th. (Sorry folks, Jr. and me weren't listening that closely plus we were a fussin' and fuedin' over our proph... err prediction.)

Then there were three.... Who will be GREAT?!

Who foretold the end of The End from the beginning of The End from the beginning?

Andrew G., Kirrily, or Baywolfe?

Repent!! Watch cat videos before its too late! 


How to pet a kitty

Tick Tock.

Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed

5 comments:

Douglas Becker said...

Just remember: My cat can lick your cat!

Douglas Becker said...

I'm with Baywolfe.

But see, that is something which can never be proven, even if true.

There are just some things you know are true but which cannot be proven.

Dill Weed said...

There will be hair balls.

Ackk!


It's possible we may never have a winner. Rats.

jack635 said...

Another contest? Okay. I say he will say Jesus is not returning when he gives his next sabbath sermon on 26th May at 2:30pm E.S.T. Shortly after the standard opening prayer and some announcements about ordaining some more elders or somebody died or some other crap. He might have to read some Old Testament stuff before he drops it for everyone to hear.

Anonymous said...

3 days till the collapse of the u.s.a hmmmm