God’s Witnesses P3 (Summary)
Countdown: 21 Days
Remaining Sabbaths: 3
Fulfilled Prophecies: 0****
Failed Prophecies: Priceless
Ron’s Death Toll: 0
False prophet and Spokesman Witness Ronald Weinland spoke from, the Detroit, MI this Sabbath.
A tradition has developed: I went fishing before Harold Camping’s first and second prophecies. I have planned another fishing trip. Junior and I are going to fishing before we’re laid to waste by Weinland’s angry, lying God.
A group meeting in a another room might have overheard Ron’s sermon, he noted “They might not care to hear it today, but they would May 26th." Smug chuckles followed. Smug chuckles that will fade to dumbfounded silence May 27th. Will PKGers hang on while Ron changes the meaning of the bible and his prophecies claiming God misled us?
Weinland said that it was God's purpose for them to believe they would be baptizing the tithe of a third, the repenting hordes clamoring for Ron's Truths because events have shown him to be God's End Time prophet, blah, blah, blah. But, it ain't happening - just like everything else.
Ron stated “it could all happen in the last hour.” PKGers will be counting down! Christ’s return will be a no show just like Harold Camping.
Ron announced that members should stay in their homes May 26th because it could nasty. They should save the cans of food they have stored because ‘things are going to come to a screeching halt.’ Trucks won’t be running. The internet won’t be working, etc. But, it will eventually be back up.
Ron lamented that his mockers should suffer through his sermons. I agree. Listening is miserable. But, there are occasional laughs and I do get to mock.
Ron amped up the claim that nuclear war is imminent, we'll see. A 1/3 of the earth will be destroyed. Not my fishing hole! Agghhh!!
Could it happen in the last 45 minutes? The last 30? What about the last 15? Will Ron’s post May 26th set the stage June 2nd? What will he say June 2nd?
TICK TOCK
The Andrew G. slide rule correction for cats who can't subtract very well...21 days and 3 Sabbaths remain.
Your time runs short, Ron Weinland. Judgment day is coming.
Dill Weed
5 comments:
Reading this has made my morning. Ron is getting crazier and the lies keep coming.
i'm with you i will be out on lake erie walleye fishing. watching it all not happen.
I ! Each
All djmu
Dill Weed,
when Ron gets his power on May 27th he is going to humbly kick your ass.
Ron's agape will also make you lick the bottom of his shoe to help you repent of your mocking.
Laura will grab Dill Weed Junior and rub his fur the wrong way!
You had your chance and you rejected Ron's agape for you.
Good lifting technique is advisable when picking up Junior. He's no 37 pounder, but...
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